Bila Anda siap MENDAPATKAN, sudahkan Anda juga siap KEHILANGAN? Memang, ada beragam cara menyikapi kehilangan. Dari mulai marah-marah, menangis, protes pada takdir, hingga bunuh diri. Masih ingatkah Anda pada tokoh-tokoh ternama, yang tega membunuh diri sendiri hanya karena sukses mereka terancam pudar? Barangkali kisah yang saya adaptasi dari The Healing Stories karya GW Burns berikut ini, dapat memberikan inspirasi. Dikisahkan, seorang lelaki keluar dari pekarangan rumahnya, berjalan tak tentu arah dengan rasa putus asa. Sudah cukup lama ia menganggur. Kondisi finansial keluarganya morat-marit. Sementara para tetangganya sibuk memenuhi rumah dengan barang-barang mewah ia masih bergelut memikirkan cara memenuhi kebutuhan pokok keluarganya sandang dan pangan.
Anak-anaknya sudah lama tak dibelikan pakaian, istrinya sering marah-marah karena tak dapat membeli barang-barang rumah tangga yang layak. Laki-laki itu sudah tak tahan dengan kondisi ini, dan ia tidak yakin bahwa perjalanannya kali inipun akan membawa keberuntungan, yakni mendapatkan pekerjaan. Ketika laki-laki itu tengah menyusuri jalanan sepi, tiba-tiba kakinya terantuk sesuatu. Karena merasa penasaran ia membungkuk dan mengambilnya.
"Uh, hanya sebuah koin kuno yang sudah penyok-penyok," gerutunya kecewa. Meskipun begitu ia membawa koin itu ke sebuah bank."Sebaiknya koin ini Bapak bawa saja ke kolektor uang kuno," kata teller itu memberi saran. Lelaki itupun mengikuti anjuran si teller, membawa koinnya ke kolektor. Beruntung sekali, si kolektor menghargai koin itu senilai 30 dollar.Begitu senangnya, lelaki tersebut mulai memikirkan apa yang akan dia lakukan dengan rejeki nomplok ini. Ketika melewati sebuah toko perkakas, dilihatnya beberapa lembar kayu sedang diobral. Dia bisa membuatkan beberapa rak untuk istrinya karena istrinya pernah berkata mereka tak punya tempat untuk menyimpan jambangan dan toples. Setelah ia membeli lembaran kayu seharga 30 dollar, dia memanggul kayu tersebut dan beranjak pulang. Di tengah perjalanan dia melewati bengkel seorang pembuat mebel. Mata pemilik bengkel sudah terlatih melihat kayu yang dipanggul lelaki itu. Kayunya indah, warnanya bagus, dan mutunya terkenal. Kebetulan pada waktu itu ada pesanan mebel. Dia menawarkan uang sejumlah 100 dollar kepada lelaki itu. Terlihat ragu-ragu di mata laki-laki itu, namun pengrajin itu meyakinkannya dan dapat menawarkannya mebel yang sudah jadi agar dipilih lelaki itu. Kebetulan di sana ada lemari yang pasti disukai istrinya. Dia menukar kayu tersebut dan meminjam sebuah gerobak untuk membawa lemari itu. Dia pun segera membawanya pulang.
Di tengah perjalanan dia melewati perumahan baru. Seorang wanita yang sedang mendekorasi rumah barunya melongok keluar jendela dan melihat lelaki itu mendorong gerobak berisi lemari yang indah. Si wanita terpikat dan menawar dengan harga 200 dollar. Ketika lelaki itu nampak ragu-ragu, si wanita menaikkan tawarannya menjadi 250 dollar. Lelaki itupun setuju. Kemudian mengembalikan gerobak ke pengrajin dan beranjak pulang.
Di pintu desa dia berhenti sejenak dan ingin memastikan uang yang ia terima Ia merogoh sakunya dan menghitung lembaran bernilai 250 dollar. Pada saat itu seorang perampok keluar dari semak-semak,mengacungkan belati, merampas uang itu, lalu kabur. Istri si lelaki kebetulan melihat dan berlari mendekati suaminya seraya berkata, "Apa yang terjadi? Engkau baik saja kan? Apa yang diambil oleh perampok tadi? Lelaki itu mengangkat bahunya dan berkata, "Oh, bukan apa-apa. Hanya sebuah koin penyok yang kutemukan tadi pagi". Memang, ada beragam cara menyikapi kehilangan. Semoga kita termasuk orang yang bijak menghadapi kehilangan dan sadar bahwa sukses hanyalah TITIPAN Allah. Benar kata orang bijak, manusia tak memiliki apa-apa kecuali pengalaman hidup. Bila Kita sadar kita tak pernah memiliki apapun, kenapa harus tenggelam dalam kepedihan yang berlebihan? Ada kalimat yang saya suka sekali dalam menempatkan diri dalam kehidupan:
"Kemenangan Hidup bukan berhasil mendapat banyak, tetapi ada pada kemampuan menikmati apa yang didapat tanpa menguasai. HIDUPLAH SEPERTI ANAK-ANAK YANG DAPAT MENIKMATI TANPA HARUS MENGUASAI"
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Leadership Definitions
Leadership is an elusive quality that can be hard to define. Here are a few people who have tried...
" ...leadership is like the Abominable Snowman, whose footprints are everywhere but who is nowhere to be seen" Bennis & Nanus: 'Leaders: Strategies for Taking Charge' (1997)
"[There are] almost as many definitions of leadership as there are persons who have attempted to define the concept." Stogdill (1974, p.259)
"A leader is a dealer in hope." Napoleon Bonaparte, French soldier, statesman, revolutionary (1769-1821)
"A leader is best when people barely know that he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worst when they despise him. 'Fail to honour people' they fail to honour you.' But of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will all say, 'We did this ourselves.'" Lao Tzu, Chinese founder of Taoism, author (6th Century BC)
"A leader shapes and shares a vision which gives point to the work of others." Charles Handy (1992)
"A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be." Rosalynn Carter, US First Lady (b.1927)
"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." Bill Gates
"Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader." General George S. Patton Jr.
"Leaders are individuals who establish direction for a working group of individuals who gain commitment form these group of members to this direction and who then motivate these members to achieve the direction's outcomes.” Conger, J.A. ‘Learning to Lead’ San Francisco: Jossey-Bass (1992, p18)
"Leaders are those who consistently make effective contributions to social order, and who are expected and perceived to do so.” Hosking (1988, p.153)
"Leadership (according to John Sculley) revolves around vision, ideas, direction, and has more to do with inspiring people as to direction and goals than with day-to-day implementation. A leader must be able to leverage more than his own capabilities. He must be capable of inspiring other people to do things without actually sitting on top of them with a checklist.” Bennis, W. ‘On Becoming a Leader’ Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing, (1989, p.139)
"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." John F. Kennedy
"Leadership is a combination of strategy and character. If you must be without one, be without the strategy." Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf
"Leadership is a development of a clear and complete system of expectations in order to identify evoke and use the strengths of all resources in the organization the most important of which is people.” Batten, J.D. ‘Tough-minded Leadership’ New York: AMACOM (1989 p. 35)
"Leadership is a function of knowing yourself, having a vision that is well communicated, building trust among colleagues, and taking effective action to realize your own leadership potential." Warren Bennis
"Leadership is a process of giving purpose (meaningful direction) to collective effort, and causing willing effort to be expended to achieve purpose.” Jacobs & Jaques (1990, p.281)
"Leadership is a process of influence between a leader and those who are followers.” Hollander (1978, p.1)
"Leadership is a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal." Northouse (2004, p 3)
"Leadership is an attempt at influencing the activities of followers through the communication process and toward the attainment of some goal or goals.” Donelly, J.H. & Ivancevich, J. M. & Gibson, J.L. ‘Organizations: behavior, structure, processes 5th Ed.’ Plano,TX: Business Publications Inc. (1985 p362.)
"Leadership is an influence process that enable managers to get their people to do willingly what must be done, do well what ought to be done.” Cribbin, J.J. ‘Leadership: strategies for organizational effectiveness’ New York: AMACOM (1981)
"Leadership is defined as the process of influencing the activities of an organized group toward goal achievement.” Rauch & Behling (1984, p.46)
"Leadership is discovering the company's destiny and having the courage to follow it.” JoeJaworski - Organizational Learning Center at MIT.
"Leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less." John Maxwell, 1998
"Leadership is interpersonal influence, exercised in a situation, and directed, through the communication process, toward the attainment of a specified goal or goals.” Tannenbaum,Weschler & Massarik (1961, p.24)
"Leadership is not a person or a position. It is a complex moral relationship between people, based on trust, obligation, commitment, emotion, and a shared vision of the good." Joanne Ciulla (1998)
"Leadership is that process in which one person sets the purpose or direction for one or more other persons and gets them to move along together with him or her and with each other in that direction with competence and full commitment.” Jaques E. & Clement, S.D. ‘Executive Leadership: a practical guide to managing complexity’ Cambridge, MA: Carson-Hall & Co. Publishers (1994, p.4)
"Leadership is the accomplishment of a goal through the direction of human assistants. A leader is one who successfully marshals his human collaborators to achieve particular ends.” Prentice, W.C.H. ‘Understanding Leadership’ Harvard Business Review September/October 1961 vol. 39 no. 5 p.143.
"Leadership is the art of influencing others to their maximum performance to accomplish any task, objective or project.” Cohen, W.A. ‘The Art of a Leader’ Englewood Cliffs,NJ: Prentice Hall (1990, p. 9)
"Leadership is the art of mobilizing others to want to struggle for shared aspirations.” Kouzes, J.M. & Posner, B.Z. ‘The Leadership Challenge’ San Francisco: Jossey-Bass (1995, p.30)
"Leadership is the behavior of an individual when he is directing the activities of a group toward a shared goal.” Hemphill & Coons (1957, p.7)
"Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.” Warren G. Bennis
"Leadership is the incremental influence that a person has beyond his or her formal authority." (Vecchio, 1988)
"Leadership is the influential increment over and above mechanical compliance with the routine directives of the organization.” Katz & Kahn (1978, p. 528)
"Leadership is the initiation and maintenance of structure in expectation and interaction.” Stogdill (1974, p.411)
"Leadership may be considered as the process (act) of influencing the activities of an organized group in its efforts toward goal setting and goal achievement.” Stogdill, (1950, p.3)
"Leadership requires using power to influence the thoughts and actions of other people.” Zalenik, A. ‘Managers and Leaders: are they different?’, Harvard Business Review March/April 1992 p.126.
"Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall." Stephen R. Covey
"People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. . . . The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads, and the boss drives." Theodore Roosevelt
"The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind in others the conviction and will to carry on." Walter Lippman
"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor. That sums up the progress of an artful leader." Max DePree
"The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers." Ralph Nadar
"The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership." Harvey S. Firestone
"The job of the leader is to speak to the possibility." Benjamin Zander, British conductor, management presenter (b.1939)
"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority." Kenneth Blanchard, US management author, presenter (b.1939)
"The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers." The Drucker Foundation, 1996
"You manage things, you lead people." Admiral Grace Murray Hooper, US naval officer (1906-1992)
“A leader is the person in a group who directs and coordinates task-oriented group activities.” Fiedler (1967)
“Leaders are those who consistently make effective contributions to social order and who are expected and perceived to do so.” Hosking (1988)
“Leadership is a social process in which one individual influences the behaviour of others without the use of threat or violence.” Buchannan and Huczynski (1997, p.606)
“Leadership is about articulating visions, embodying values, and creating the environment within which things can be accomplished.” Richards and Engle (1986)
“Leadership is the ability to step outside the culture to start evolutionary change processes that are more adaptive.” Schein (1992)
“Leadership is the creation of a vision about a desired future state which seeks to enmesh all members of an organisation in its net.” Bryman (1986, p. 6)
“Leadership is the lifting of a man’s vision to higher sights, the raising of a man’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a man’s personality beyond its normal limitations.” Drucker, P. F. (1955)
“Leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an individual or a group in efforts toward goal achievement in a given situation.” Hersey, P. & Blanchard, K. ‘Management of Organizational Behavior’. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall (1988 p. 86)
“Leadership is the process of making sense of what people are doing together so that people will understand and be committed.” Drath & Palus (1994)
“Leadership: the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D Eisenhower (1890 - 1969) US Statesman
“One of the hardest tasks of leadership is understanding that you are not what you are, but what you're perceived to be by others.” Edward L. Flom, CEO of the Florida Steel Corporation, in a speech, May 6, 1987.
“Leadership is all hype. We've had three great leaders in this century - Hitler, Stalin and Mao.” Peter Drucker, quoted in Fortune, 21/02/94
“Leadership is an intangible quality with no clear definition. That's probably a good thing, because if the people who were being led knew the definition, they would hunt down their leaders and kill them.” Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle (1996)
"Leadership: The capacity and will to rally people to a common purpose together with the character that inspires confidence and trust" Field Marshal Montgomery
"A Leader: A person responsible for achieving objectives through others by creating the conditions in which they may be successful and for building and maintaining the team that he or she is a member of." Jeremy Tozer
"Leadership is a purposeful relationship, which occurs episodically among participants, who use their individual skills in influence, to advocate transforming change." (c) Michael S. Kearns, 2005
" ...leadership is like the Abominable Snowman, whose footprints are everywhere but who is nowhere to be seen" Bennis & Nanus: 'Leaders: Strategies for Taking Charge' (1997)
"[There are] almost as many definitions of leadership as there are persons who have attempted to define the concept." Stogdill (1974, p.259)
"A leader is a dealer in hope." Napoleon Bonaparte, French soldier, statesman, revolutionary (1769-1821)
"A leader is best when people barely know that he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worst when they despise him. 'Fail to honour people' they fail to honour you.' But of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will all say, 'We did this ourselves.'" Lao Tzu, Chinese founder of Taoism, author (6th Century BC)
"A leader shapes and shares a vision which gives point to the work of others." Charles Handy (1992)
"A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be." Rosalynn Carter, US First Lady (b.1927)
"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." Bill Gates
"Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader." General George S. Patton Jr.
"Leaders are individuals who establish direction for a working group of individuals who gain commitment form these group of members to this direction and who then motivate these members to achieve the direction's outcomes.” Conger, J.A. ‘Learning to Lead’ San Francisco: Jossey-Bass (1992, p18)
"Leaders are those who consistently make effective contributions to social order, and who are expected and perceived to do so.” Hosking (1988, p.153)
"Leadership (according to John Sculley) revolves around vision, ideas, direction, and has more to do with inspiring people as to direction and goals than with day-to-day implementation. A leader must be able to leverage more than his own capabilities. He must be capable of inspiring other people to do things without actually sitting on top of them with a checklist.” Bennis, W. ‘On Becoming a Leader’ Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley Publishing, (1989, p.139)
"Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other." John F. Kennedy
"Leadership is a combination of strategy and character. If you must be without one, be without the strategy." Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf
"Leadership is a development of a clear and complete system of expectations in order to identify evoke and use the strengths of all resources in the organization the most important of which is people.” Batten, J.D. ‘Tough-minded Leadership’ New York: AMACOM (1989 p. 35)
"Leadership is a function of knowing yourself, having a vision that is well communicated, building trust among colleagues, and taking effective action to realize your own leadership potential." Warren Bennis
"Leadership is a process of giving purpose (meaningful direction) to collective effort, and causing willing effort to be expended to achieve purpose.” Jacobs & Jaques (1990, p.281)
"Leadership is a process of influence between a leader and those who are followers.” Hollander (1978, p.1)
"Leadership is a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal." Northouse (2004, p 3)
"Leadership is an attempt at influencing the activities of followers through the communication process and toward the attainment of some goal or goals.” Donelly, J.H. & Ivancevich, J. M. & Gibson, J.L. ‘Organizations: behavior, structure, processes 5th Ed.’ Plano,TX: Business Publications Inc. (1985 p362.)
"Leadership is an influence process that enable managers to get their people to do willingly what must be done, do well what ought to be done.” Cribbin, J.J. ‘Leadership: strategies for organizational effectiveness’ New York: AMACOM (1981)
"Leadership is defined as the process of influencing the activities of an organized group toward goal achievement.” Rauch & Behling (1984, p.46)
"Leadership is discovering the company's destiny and having the courage to follow it.” JoeJaworski - Organizational Learning Center at MIT.
"Leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less." John Maxwell, 1998
"Leadership is interpersonal influence, exercised in a situation, and directed, through the communication process, toward the attainment of a specified goal or goals.” Tannenbaum,Weschler & Massarik (1961, p.24)
"Leadership is not a person or a position. It is a complex moral relationship between people, based on trust, obligation, commitment, emotion, and a shared vision of the good." Joanne Ciulla (1998)
"Leadership is that process in which one person sets the purpose or direction for one or more other persons and gets them to move along together with him or her and with each other in that direction with competence and full commitment.” Jaques E. & Clement, S.D. ‘Executive Leadership: a practical guide to managing complexity’ Cambridge, MA: Carson-Hall & Co. Publishers (1994, p.4)
"Leadership is the accomplishment of a goal through the direction of human assistants. A leader is one who successfully marshals his human collaborators to achieve particular ends.” Prentice, W.C.H. ‘Understanding Leadership’ Harvard Business Review September/October 1961 vol. 39 no. 5 p.143.
"Leadership is the art of influencing others to their maximum performance to accomplish any task, objective or project.” Cohen, W.A. ‘The Art of a Leader’ Englewood Cliffs,NJ: Prentice Hall (1990, p. 9)
"Leadership is the art of mobilizing others to want to struggle for shared aspirations.” Kouzes, J.M. & Posner, B.Z. ‘The Leadership Challenge’ San Francisco: Jossey-Bass (1995, p.30)
"Leadership is the behavior of an individual when he is directing the activities of a group toward a shared goal.” Hemphill & Coons (1957, p.7)
"Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.” Warren G. Bennis
"Leadership is the incremental influence that a person has beyond his or her formal authority." (Vecchio, 1988)
"Leadership is the influential increment over and above mechanical compliance with the routine directives of the organization.” Katz & Kahn (1978, p. 528)
"Leadership is the initiation and maintenance of structure in expectation and interaction.” Stogdill (1974, p.411)
"Leadership may be considered as the process (act) of influencing the activities of an organized group in its efforts toward goal setting and goal achievement.” Stogdill, (1950, p.3)
"Leadership requires using power to influence the thoughts and actions of other people.” Zalenik, A. ‘Managers and Leaders: are they different?’, Harvard Business Review March/April 1992 p.126.
"Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall." Stephen R. Covey
"People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. . . . The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads, and the boss drives." Theodore Roosevelt
"The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind in others the conviction and will to carry on." Walter Lippman
"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor. That sums up the progress of an artful leader." Max DePree
"The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers." Ralph Nadar
"The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership." Harvey S. Firestone
"The job of the leader is to speak to the possibility." Benjamin Zander, British conductor, management presenter (b.1939)
"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority." Kenneth Blanchard, US management author, presenter (b.1939)
"The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers." The Drucker Foundation, 1996
"You manage things, you lead people." Admiral Grace Murray Hooper, US naval officer (1906-1992)
“A leader is the person in a group who directs and coordinates task-oriented group activities.” Fiedler (1967)
“Leaders are those who consistently make effective contributions to social order and who are expected and perceived to do so.” Hosking (1988)
“Leadership is a social process in which one individual influences the behaviour of others without the use of threat or violence.” Buchannan and Huczynski (1997, p.606)
“Leadership is about articulating visions, embodying values, and creating the environment within which things can be accomplished.” Richards and Engle (1986)
“Leadership is the ability to step outside the culture to start evolutionary change processes that are more adaptive.” Schein (1992)
“Leadership is the creation of a vision about a desired future state which seeks to enmesh all members of an organisation in its net.” Bryman (1986, p. 6)
“Leadership is the lifting of a man’s vision to higher sights, the raising of a man’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a man’s personality beyond its normal limitations.” Drucker, P. F. (1955)
“Leadership is the process of influencing the activities of an individual or a group in efforts toward goal achievement in a given situation.” Hersey, P. & Blanchard, K. ‘Management of Organizational Behavior’. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall (1988 p. 86)
“Leadership is the process of making sense of what people are doing together so that people will understand and be committed.” Drath & Palus (1994)
“Leadership: the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D Eisenhower (1890 - 1969) US Statesman
“One of the hardest tasks of leadership is understanding that you are not what you are, but what you're perceived to be by others.” Edward L. Flom, CEO of the Florida Steel Corporation, in a speech, May 6, 1987.
“Leadership is all hype. We've had three great leaders in this century - Hitler, Stalin and Mao.” Peter Drucker, quoted in Fortune, 21/02/94
“Leadership is an intangible quality with no clear definition. That's probably a good thing, because if the people who were being led knew the definition, they would hunt down their leaders and kill them.” Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle (1996)
"Leadership: The capacity and will to rally people to a common purpose together with the character that inspires confidence and trust" Field Marshal Montgomery
"A Leader: A person responsible for achieving objectives through others by creating the conditions in which they may be successful and for building and maintaining the team that he or she is a member of." Jeremy Tozer
"Leadership is a purposeful relationship, which occurs episodically among participants, who use their individual skills in influence, to advocate transforming change." (c) Michael S. Kearns, 2005
Leadership Lessons from The Apprentice
Make-or-break leadership lessons from The Apprentice: sure, it's "reality" TV. But smart viewers of NBC's hit show learned important rules of business success. Here are four, for starters
Alfred A. Edmond, Jr.
KWAME AND OMAROSA--NO LAST NAMES REQUIRED. Every African American professional knows the Harvard H.B.A. Wall Street investment adviser and the up-from-the-projects former White House appointee who were among the competitors on The Apprentice, NBC-TV's hit reality show. Beginning in January, the show followed the exploits of 16 young entrepreneurs and professionals as they engaged in a "13-week job interview" to get a one-year, $250,000 job with The Trump Organization, and an apprenticeship with the show's executive producer and company chairman Donald Trump. Each week, the group, divided into two teams, competed on a business task assigned by Tromp--selling fine art to renovating and leasing apartments--designed to test the talents and business savvy of each candidate. The winners moved on to the next task. The losers faced Trump and his lieutenants in the infamous boardroom. And as every fan of the show knows: "Somebody's gonna get fired."
At press time, the winner of the competition had not been selected. BLACK ENTERPRISE subscribers will receive this issue as the program's April 15 live finale airs. If Kwame Jackson is still in contention, as he was at this writing (Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth participated in nine tasks before falling to Trump's ax), you can bet that the show's final episode will become must-see TV for African Americans. Jackson and Stallworth represented a study in the duality faced by black professionals in a still white-male-dominated corporate America. African Americans who took pride in Jackson's Harvard M.B.A. pedigree and gracious, earnest professionalism, became increasingly frustrated by his apparent inability to do more than be an affable teammate, and to actually put up a "W" on the scoreboard. (Through Episode 10 of the show, Jackson was the only survivor who hadn't tasted victory as a project leader.) And black professionals--particularly African American women--"who were initially encouraged by Stallworth's assertive brand of professionalism, later became appalled by her transformation into the most negative stereotype of the combative, passive-aggressive, black female co-worker.
Unlike mindless reality shows in which contestants munch on worms or compete to marry a fake millionaire, The Apprentice is a show you can actually learn from. For the last three months, I was among the millions of viewers who tuned in every week to The Apprentice. My job: to identify key business and career success strategies illustrated by Trump and the 16 young professionals vying to be his apprentice on the first hit TV show focusing on competition and collaboration in the world of business. (See our weekly analysis of The Apprentice at www.blackenterprise.com.) Here are just four of the valuable lessons you can apply to your own business and career.
Lesson 1 GOOD IDEAS ARE NOT ENOUGH--FOLLOW THROUGH WITH A PLAN
In business, as in chess, the person who thinks the furthest ahead has the most control over the outcome. As Law 29 of The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers (Viking Press: $24.95) states: "The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others. By planning to the end, you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop. Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead."
Who got it wrong: Jackson consistently failed to follow plausible strategies with a well-thought-out and executable plan. In fact, in at least one case, he failed to plan at all.
In Jackson's first stint as a project leader for the then all-male Versacorp, both teams were charged with managing the Planet Hollywood restaurant in Manhattan's Times Square on consecutive nights. The victor would be the team that generated the largest revenue increase over the same night the previous year. The opposing, all-female Protege Corporation, led by real estate agent Katrina Campins, was assigned the first night of restaurant operations, giving Jackson's team an obvious advantage--an extra 24 hours to come up with a plan to profitably manage the restaurant the following evening. Did Jackson and his team spend the day visiting restaurants and talking to restaurant managers, reading books or visiting Websites devoted to the restaurant business? No. They focused on team bonding by playing basketball and the Donald Trump board game.
As a result, Jackson's Versacorp team failed to deduce in more than a day what Protege took minutes to discover: Planet Hollywood's bar accounts for 25% of its business. Protege, exploiting this information with a plan focused on generating as much bar business as possible, increased restaurant revenues by more than 31%. Jackson's team managed less than 7% in defeat, proving that the old adage is still true--failing to plan, is planning to fail.
Who got it right: When Protege and Versacorp were charged with running a fleet of rickshaw cabs for a one-day shift in Manhattan, contestant Amy Henry not only came up with the big idea, she followed through with a scheme to ensure its success. Her big idea for Versacorp: selling advertising space on the rickshaws. But she didn't stop there. Once she sold Bill Rancic, her project leader for this task, on the strategy, Henry boosted the odds of success by contacting companies she had already established positive relationships with during the competition (such as Marquis Jet, an advertising client from Week 2) to sell ads.
The result? Versacorp destroyed Protege, delivering $3,680 in profits against a measly $382.68. The difference: Henry's team generated $3,450 in advertising revenue.
Conclusion: A good strategy, is just the beginning. To get the results you want you have to think things through and come up with ways to test and exploit that stratagem. Good leaders plan the work, and then work the plan--not halfway, but all the way to the desired result.
Lesson 2 TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, FOCUS ON WHAT THEY WANT
A major key to negotiating, whether with colleagues, customers, subordinates, or superiors, is the sincere willingness to gain a clear understanding of what the other party wants. It sounds simple enough. Never assume that what's important to you is what's most important to those with whom you must deal. In business, you have to give to get.
Who got it wrong: When contestant Nick Warnock approached a potential buyer, determined to show off his prowess as a salesman, he focused on his own goal: to lead the Versacorp team to victory by single-handedly selling a truckload of Trump Ice. The target of the sales pitch was obviously insulted by Warnock's hard sell. He had to be thinking: "Where am I supposed to store all of this water? Who does this guy think he is?" Clearly, the needs of the customer were secondary, at best, to Warnock's desire to make the big sale. Warnock couldn't convince the client to buy even a case of bottled water, much less a truckload.
Who got it right: Contrast Warnock's approach with the pitch of another job candidate, Troy McClain. He focused on addressing the customers' problem of limited inventory space. Instead of trying to get customers to buy, say, 80 cases of Trump Ice at once, he and his Protege teammates convinced them to order 80 cases, but to take delivery on 20 cases a week, over a four-week period. As a result, Protege was able to place large orders with two distributors for a total of $3,400, earning them a victory over Versacorp.
Conclusion: The cornerstone of all successful careers and profitable businesses is a sincere interest in solving problems and meeting the needs of others--whether they are customers, employers, or colleagues. Those who can achieve this feat will reap huge rewards.
Lesson 3 IF YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU'RE A LEADER, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT
Too many people believe that all it takes to be a leader is a superior position: a bigger title, more experience, better credentials, a higher I.Q.--or simply being louder, tougher, and more aggressive than the rest of the group. But without the ability to get people to follow you, all the official authority and superior qualifications in the world won't make you an effective leader. As the often repeated adage goes: If you think you are leading, but no one is following, then you are simply taking a walk.
Who got it wrong: All during the competition, would-be apprentices Stallworth, Sam Solovey, Jason Curis, Erika Vetrini, and Heidi Bressler proclaimed they were born leaders--some most loudly and persistently right before Trump dropped the ax on them.
Having to say that you're the leader is usually the first sign that you are not one. It usually means that you can't get people to follow you without some form of coercion. On The Apprentice, the reasons were varied. Solovey was a basket case who freaked out under pressure. Vetrini was an emotional wreck prone to crying and throwing tantrums. Curis ignored the input and expertise of his troops. And Stallworth assumed an air of unearned superiority, constantly pointing to her resume while denigrating those she would lead. All tended to blame others for their failures and evaluate others based on their personalities as opposed to their performance. These are not attributes that inspire loyalty and respect.
Who got it right: Versacorp's Troy McClain and Protege's Amy Henry provided great examples of leading by action, not by proclamation. In fact, they often demonstrated leadership even when they were not the designated project managers of their teams, proving that leadership is about more than having the title.
The most telling demonstration of this was Henry and McClain's respective roles in raising money for the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation by negotiating with celebrities for donations. For example, when Jackson and project manager Stallworth's negotiations with hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons were going up in flames, McClain saved the day by "keeping it real" (as in real country), delighting Simmons with his hick-from-the-sticks persona. Henry was just as impressive: Despite the constant disruption of teammate Tammy Lee, Henry stayed focused on coming up with ideas that were enthusiastically received by celebrities, such as television personalities Regis Philbin and Carson Daly.
Conclusion: Henry's Versacorp team defeated McClain's Protege team, raising $40,000 against Protege's $35.000, in the most tightly contested of The Apprentice assignments. Even though Rancic and Stallworth were the project managers of the respective teams on this project, the leadership skills of Henry and McClain were the keys to these successful campaigns.
Lesson 4 DON'T MAKE ENEMIES OF OPPONENTS--OR ALLIES
Like her or not, Stallworth was always clear on where she stood in relation to her fellow would-be apprentices: "I didn't come here to make friends. "True, but you don't want to make enemies either, unless it's absolutely unavoidable. Good leaders don't think in terms of friends and enemies; they operate in a world of allies and opponents, knowing that anyone they encounter can be one or the other on any given day, and sometimes both at the same time.
Who got it wrong: Think about the way Stallworth treated her colleagues, in victory and in defeat, during her tenure on The Apprentice. Did she say one positive thing, publicly or privately, about anyone on either team? Had she deemed any person she met worthy of her respect, and treated them thusly? Is she the type of person you'd want as a boss or colleague?
One of the most memorable examples of Stallworth's persistent negativity toward her teammates occurred as she (as project leader), Bressler, and another contestant, Jessie Connors, faced Trump's firing squad after their defeat in the competition to raise money for the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation. "Heidi was fantastic," she responded when Trump asked her to assess Bressler's performance. But Stallworth didn't stop there: "And I will tell you I haven't always been a fan of Heidi. I haven't always felt that she was professional, nor does she have much class or finesse." And that was intended as a compliment.
Who got it right: Stallworth's approach was in contrast to Jackson's, whose behavior was consistent in victory and defeat. He was positive, upbeat, and supportive of his teammates. When Jackson made criticisms, he was direct and to the point, limiting his comments to assessments of performance, not personal attacks.
Most importantly, Jackson never played the victim. When he failed, he held himself accountable, resisting invitations to blame others when facing Trump in the boardroom. While confident in his evaluation of a given situation, he remained open to the idea that he could be wrong, and that others, even a subordinate, could be right. As a result, even after crashing defeats as project leader, Jackson was still embraced as a team member by his fellow would-be apprentices, and he never lost the respect of Trump and his lieutenants. Is it any surprise that Jackson was able to consistently avoid the ax?
Conclusion: The best leaders make people want to be a round them. How? By being as quick with compliments as they are with criticisms. They focus on performance and not personalities, and realize they can't succeed without the support of colleagues, customers, and clients--even those they don't like, or those who don't like them.
The best leaders don't talk about it--they are about it. Those who followed these precepts experienced consistent success on The Apprentice. Those who violated them were doomed to failure--and an elevator ride to the street.
Alfred A. Edmond, Jr.
KWAME AND OMAROSA--NO LAST NAMES REQUIRED. Every African American professional knows the Harvard H.B.A. Wall Street investment adviser and the up-from-the-projects former White House appointee who were among the competitors on The Apprentice, NBC-TV's hit reality show. Beginning in January, the show followed the exploits of 16 young entrepreneurs and professionals as they engaged in a "13-week job interview" to get a one-year, $250,000 job with The Trump Organization, and an apprenticeship with the show's executive producer and company chairman Donald Trump. Each week, the group, divided into two teams, competed on a business task assigned by Tromp--selling fine art to renovating and leasing apartments--designed to test the talents and business savvy of each candidate. The winners moved on to the next task. The losers faced Trump and his lieutenants in the infamous boardroom. And as every fan of the show knows: "Somebody's gonna get fired."
At press time, the winner of the competition had not been selected. BLACK ENTERPRISE subscribers will receive this issue as the program's April 15 live finale airs. If Kwame Jackson is still in contention, as he was at this writing (Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth participated in nine tasks before falling to Trump's ax), you can bet that the show's final episode will become must-see TV for African Americans. Jackson and Stallworth represented a study in the duality faced by black professionals in a still white-male-dominated corporate America. African Americans who took pride in Jackson's Harvard M.B.A. pedigree and gracious, earnest professionalism, became increasingly frustrated by his apparent inability to do more than be an affable teammate, and to actually put up a "W" on the scoreboard. (Through Episode 10 of the show, Jackson was the only survivor who hadn't tasted victory as a project leader.) And black professionals--particularly African American women--"who were initially encouraged by Stallworth's assertive brand of professionalism, later became appalled by her transformation into the most negative stereotype of the combative, passive-aggressive, black female co-worker.
Unlike mindless reality shows in which contestants munch on worms or compete to marry a fake millionaire, The Apprentice is a show you can actually learn from. For the last three months, I was among the millions of viewers who tuned in every week to The Apprentice. My job: to identify key business and career success strategies illustrated by Trump and the 16 young professionals vying to be his apprentice on the first hit TV show focusing on competition and collaboration in the world of business. (See our weekly analysis of The Apprentice at www.blackenterprise.com.) Here are just four of the valuable lessons you can apply to your own business and career.
Lesson 1 GOOD IDEAS ARE NOT ENOUGH--FOLLOW THROUGH WITH A PLAN
In business, as in chess, the person who thinks the furthest ahead has the most control over the outcome. As Law 29 of The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers (Viking Press: $24.95) states: "The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others. By planning to the end, you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop. Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead."
Who got it wrong: Jackson consistently failed to follow plausible strategies with a well-thought-out and executable plan. In fact, in at least one case, he failed to plan at all.
In Jackson's first stint as a project leader for the then all-male Versacorp, both teams were charged with managing the Planet Hollywood restaurant in Manhattan's Times Square on consecutive nights. The victor would be the team that generated the largest revenue increase over the same night the previous year. The opposing, all-female Protege Corporation, led by real estate agent Katrina Campins, was assigned the first night of restaurant operations, giving Jackson's team an obvious advantage--an extra 24 hours to come up with a plan to profitably manage the restaurant the following evening. Did Jackson and his team spend the day visiting restaurants and talking to restaurant managers, reading books or visiting Websites devoted to the restaurant business? No. They focused on team bonding by playing basketball and the Donald Trump board game.
As a result, Jackson's Versacorp team failed to deduce in more than a day what Protege took minutes to discover: Planet Hollywood's bar accounts for 25% of its business. Protege, exploiting this information with a plan focused on generating as much bar business as possible, increased restaurant revenues by more than 31%. Jackson's team managed less than 7% in defeat, proving that the old adage is still true--failing to plan, is planning to fail.
Who got it right: When Protege and Versacorp were charged with running a fleet of rickshaw cabs for a one-day shift in Manhattan, contestant Amy Henry not only came up with the big idea, she followed through with a scheme to ensure its success. Her big idea for Versacorp: selling advertising space on the rickshaws. But she didn't stop there. Once she sold Bill Rancic, her project leader for this task, on the strategy, Henry boosted the odds of success by contacting companies she had already established positive relationships with during the competition (such as Marquis Jet, an advertising client from Week 2) to sell ads.
The result? Versacorp destroyed Protege, delivering $3,680 in profits against a measly $382.68. The difference: Henry's team generated $3,450 in advertising revenue.
Conclusion: A good strategy, is just the beginning. To get the results you want you have to think things through and come up with ways to test and exploit that stratagem. Good leaders plan the work, and then work the plan--not halfway, but all the way to the desired result.
Lesson 2 TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, FOCUS ON WHAT THEY WANT
A major key to negotiating, whether with colleagues, customers, subordinates, or superiors, is the sincere willingness to gain a clear understanding of what the other party wants. It sounds simple enough. Never assume that what's important to you is what's most important to those with whom you must deal. In business, you have to give to get.
Who got it wrong: When contestant Nick Warnock approached a potential buyer, determined to show off his prowess as a salesman, he focused on his own goal: to lead the Versacorp team to victory by single-handedly selling a truckload of Trump Ice. The target of the sales pitch was obviously insulted by Warnock's hard sell. He had to be thinking: "Where am I supposed to store all of this water? Who does this guy think he is?" Clearly, the needs of the customer were secondary, at best, to Warnock's desire to make the big sale. Warnock couldn't convince the client to buy even a case of bottled water, much less a truckload.
Who got it right: Contrast Warnock's approach with the pitch of another job candidate, Troy McClain. He focused on addressing the customers' problem of limited inventory space. Instead of trying to get customers to buy, say, 80 cases of Trump Ice at once, he and his Protege teammates convinced them to order 80 cases, but to take delivery on 20 cases a week, over a four-week period. As a result, Protege was able to place large orders with two distributors for a total of $3,400, earning them a victory over Versacorp.
Conclusion: The cornerstone of all successful careers and profitable businesses is a sincere interest in solving problems and meeting the needs of others--whether they are customers, employers, or colleagues. Those who can achieve this feat will reap huge rewards.
Lesson 3 IF YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU'RE A LEADER, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT
Too many people believe that all it takes to be a leader is a superior position: a bigger title, more experience, better credentials, a higher I.Q.--or simply being louder, tougher, and more aggressive than the rest of the group. But without the ability to get people to follow you, all the official authority and superior qualifications in the world won't make you an effective leader. As the often repeated adage goes: If you think you are leading, but no one is following, then you are simply taking a walk.
Who got it wrong: All during the competition, would-be apprentices Stallworth, Sam Solovey, Jason Curis, Erika Vetrini, and Heidi Bressler proclaimed they were born leaders--some most loudly and persistently right before Trump dropped the ax on them.
Having to say that you're the leader is usually the first sign that you are not one. It usually means that you can't get people to follow you without some form of coercion. On The Apprentice, the reasons were varied. Solovey was a basket case who freaked out under pressure. Vetrini was an emotional wreck prone to crying and throwing tantrums. Curis ignored the input and expertise of his troops. And Stallworth assumed an air of unearned superiority, constantly pointing to her resume while denigrating those she would lead. All tended to blame others for their failures and evaluate others based on their personalities as opposed to their performance. These are not attributes that inspire loyalty and respect.
Who got it right: Versacorp's Troy McClain and Protege's Amy Henry provided great examples of leading by action, not by proclamation. In fact, they often demonstrated leadership even when they were not the designated project managers of their teams, proving that leadership is about more than having the title.
The most telling demonstration of this was Henry and McClain's respective roles in raising money for the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation by negotiating with celebrities for donations. For example, when Jackson and project manager Stallworth's negotiations with hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons were going up in flames, McClain saved the day by "keeping it real" (as in real country), delighting Simmons with his hick-from-the-sticks persona. Henry was just as impressive: Despite the constant disruption of teammate Tammy Lee, Henry stayed focused on coming up with ideas that were enthusiastically received by celebrities, such as television personalities Regis Philbin and Carson Daly.
Conclusion: Henry's Versacorp team defeated McClain's Protege team, raising $40,000 against Protege's $35.000, in the most tightly contested of The Apprentice assignments. Even though Rancic and Stallworth were the project managers of the respective teams on this project, the leadership skills of Henry and McClain were the keys to these successful campaigns.
Lesson 4 DON'T MAKE ENEMIES OF OPPONENTS--OR ALLIES
Like her or not, Stallworth was always clear on where she stood in relation to her fellow would-be apprentices: "I didn't come here to make friends. "True, but you don't want to make enemies either, unless it's absolutely unavoidable. Good leaders don't think in terms of friends and enemies; they operate in a world of allies and opponents, knowing that anyone they encounter can be one or the other on any given day, and sometimes both at the same time.
Who got it wrong: Think about the way Stallworth treated her colleagues, in victory and in defeat, during her tenure on The Apprentice. Did she say one positive thing, publicly or privately, about anyone on either team? Had she deemed any person she met worthy of her respect, and treated them thusly? Is she the type of person you'd want as a boss or colleague?
One of the most memorable examples of Stallworth's persistent negativity toward her teammates occurred as she (as project leader), Bressler, and another contestant, Jessie Connors, faced Trump's firing squad after their defeat in the competition to raise money for the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation. "Heidi was fantastic," she responded when Trump asked her to assess Bressler's performance. But Stallworth didn't stop there: "And I will tell you I haven't always been a fan of Heidi. I haven't always felt that she was professional, nor does she have much class or finesse." And that was intended as a compliment.
Who got it right: Stallworth's approach was in contrast to Jackson's, whose behavior was consistent in victory and defeat. He was positive, upbeat, and supportive of his teammates. When Jackson made criticisms, he was direct and to the point, limiting his comments to assessments of performance, not personal attacks.
Most importantly, Jackson never played the victim. When he failed, he held himself accountable, resisting invitations to blame others when facing Trump in the boardroom. While confident in his evaluation of a given situation, he remained open to the idea that he could be wrong, and that others, even a subordinate, could be right. As a result, even after crashing defeats as project leader, Jackson was still embraced as a team member by his fellow would-be apprentices, and he never lost the respect of Trump and his lieutenants. Is it any surprise that Jackson was able to consistently avoid the ax?
Conclusion: The best leaders make people want to be a round them. How? By being as quick with compliments as they are with criticisms. They focus on performance and not personalities, and realize they can't succeed without the support of colleagues, customers, and clients--even those they don't like, or those who don't like them.
The best leaders don't talk about it--they are about it. Those who followed these precepts experienced consistent success on The Apprentice. Those who violated them were doomed to failure--and an elevator ride to the street.
Handling Difficult Coworkers
From BusinessTrainingMedia.com’s Article Library
Like any social situation, a professional environment is bound to have its good and bad apples. There is no rule that says that once you find a job, you will enjoy working with each of your coworkers. In fact, you are bound to run into a colleague who irritates or even offends you. In these situations, it often becomes your responsibility to maintain a professional attitude. Here are some common types of “nightmare coworkers” and tips on how to keep your reputation intact, no matter what.
1. The Office Gossip – Most offices have one person with a direct connection to the company grapevine. This person has the “scoop” all the time and is not afraid to share it. While it can be fun to be in on the office news for a while, it is best to be cautious when presented with office gossip. The majority of gossip is false and hurtful. If you keep information to yourself instead of passing it on, your coworkers will come to see you as reliable and trustworthy. In addition, deciding not to spread gossip is one of the best ways to keep yourself from eventually becoming the subject.
2. The Constant Complainer – Misery loves company, and some individuals are just not happy in any situation. These employees are not afraid to complain, and do it often and vocally. But in an office environment, negativity often means lower productivity and company morale. Complainers typically seek out others who will share their grief. Your best bet is to listen respectfully if someone approaches you to vent, but not to join in. Sooner or later, the complainer will stop using you as a sounding board and you will not have to risk being labeled a negative employee.
3. The Nosey Neighbor – Many workplaces are set up in an open environment, with employees situated in cubes rather than in offices. This layout is great for employees who love to learn as much as possible about coworkers’ professional and personal lives. If you are faced with a colleague who always knows what is going on in your life, you might want to be more discreet at work. This means keeping personal calls to a minimum, or utilizing a conference room to handle personal business. If your nosey neighbor has truly crossed the line, talk to your manager about the situation. The company may be able to make adjustments in the office layout to provide you with more privacy.
4. The Office Thief – The office thief typically is not known for stealing pens and pencils, but for stealing credit and ideas. You may find that an idea you brought up casually is later presented formally by this individual, with no reference to your input. Unfortunately, you won’t do yourself much good by yelling “that was my idea!” Steer clear of this person, particularly when it comes to brainstorming or sharing ideas and materials. Be professional, but also be guarded in your interactions with the office thief.
5. The All-Around Unpleasant Coworker – While some individuals in the office cause problems without being blatantly offensive, this individual is downright nasty. He or she is rude, arrogant, condescending, and just not enjoyable to be around. There are a couple of tips for dealing with this coworker. The first is realizing that you never know the whole story. This person might have something going on in his or her life that is causing the negativity. Try having an open conversation – privately, of course – to discuss the interactions between the two of you, but be careful about how you approach the conversation. You want to be seen as supportive and open, rather than accusing. Next, talk to your manager or human resources rep about the situation. It never hurts to document issues, and you may be able to decrease the amount of interaction you have with this individual.
Bottom line: If you keep out of the negative situations that arise, you will save yourself a great deal of heartache in the future. Remember that the workplace is an environment that mixes a wide variety of personality types. The trick is staying true to yourself, getting your job done and doing what you can to ensure you are happy at the end of each day, even if it means biting your tongue from time to time.
Like any social situation, a professional environment is bound to have its good and bad apples. There is no rule that says that once you find a job, you will enjoy working with each of your coworkers. In fact, you are bound to run into a colleague who irritates or even offends you. In these situations, it often becomes your responsibility to maintain a professional attitude. Here are some common types of “nightmare coworkers” and tips on how to keep your reputation intact, no matter what.
1. The Office Gossip – Most offices have one person with a direct connection to the company grapevine. This person has the “scoop” all the time and is not afraid to share it. While it can be fun to be in on the office news for a while, it is best to be cautious when presented with office gossip. The majority of gossip is false and hurtful. If you keep information to yourself instead of passing it on, your coworkers will come to see you as reliable and trustworthy. In addition, deciding not to spread gossip is one of the best ways to keep yourself from eventually becoming the subject.
2. The Constant Complainer – Misery loves company, and some individuals are just not happy in any situation. These employees are not afraid to complain, and do it often and vocally. But in an office environment, negativity often means lower productivity and company morale. Complainers typically seek out others who will share their grief. Your best bet is to listen respectfully if someone approaches you to vent, but not to join in. Sooner or later, the complainer will stop using you as a sounding board and you will not have to risk being labeled a negative employee.
3. The Nosey Neighbor – Many workplaces are set up in an open environment, with employees situated in cubes rather than in offices. This layout is great for employees who love to learn as much as possible about coworkers’ professional and personal lives. If you are faced with a colleague who always knows what is going on in your life, you might want to be more discreet at work. This means keeping personal calls to a minimum, or utilizing a conference room to handle personal business. If your nosey neighbor has truly crossed the line, talk to your manager about the situation. The company may be able to make adjustments in the office layout to provide you with more privacy.
4. The Office Thief – The office thief typically is not known for stealing pens and pencils, but for stealing credit and ideas. You may find that an idea you brought up casually is later presented formally by this individual, with no reference to your input. Unfortunately, you won’t do yourself much good by yelling “that was my idea!” Steer clear of this person, particularly when it comes to brainstorming or sharing ideas and materials. Be professional, but also be guarded in your interactions with the office thief.
5. The All-Around Unpleasant Coworker – While some individuals in the office cause problems without being blatantly offensive, this individual is downright nasty. He or she is rude, arrogant, condescending, and just not enjoyable to be around. There are a couple of tips for dealing with this coworker. The first is realizing that you never know the whole story. This person might have something going on in his or her life that is causing the negativity. Try having an open conversation – privately, of course – to discuss the interactions between the two of you, but be careful about how you approach the conversation. You want to be seen as supportive and open, rather than accusing. Next, talk to your manager or human resources rep about the situation. It never hurts to document issues, and you may be able to decrease the amount of interaction you have with this individual.
Bottom line: If you keep out of the negative situations that arise, you will save yourself a great deal of heartache in the future. Remember that the workplace is an environment that mixes a wide variety of personality types. The trick is staying true to yourself, getting your job done and doing what you can to ensure you are happy at the end of each day, even if it means biting your tongue from time to time.
18 Ways to Take Charge -- Fast
There are few career moments as exciting -- and these days, as perilous -- as taking over the top job at a company, business unit, or department. But what exactly do you do once you're in charge? This online guide provides 18 tactics -- and case studies -- to help you take the reigns running.
From: By: Fast Company
This online guide is based on the September 2002 article, "Sudden Impact" But why stop at 18? Don't forget to share your own experiences and advice using our Sound Off! feature below.
1. Begin your transition before you start the job. Use the interview process to get an early jump on learning about the organization. Ask critical questions: How are decisions made? What are the key challenges? Which functions are strong, and which ones need to be overhauled? Use that information to build some initial hypotheses about how you would change things for the better.
Take your cue from Steve Bennett who took over the CEO spot at Intuit Corp. "The interview process is where you start," he says. "That's where you ask all of the questions about what it takes to be successful."
2. Travel widely within your organization, listen carefully, and look for patterns in everything you see and hear. Bruce Patton, co-author of "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" and a partner with Vantage Partners, a Boston-based relationship management consulting firm, advises new leaders to spend a lot of time listening and asking questions. Talk to employees up and down the hierarchy. "Soon you'll start to see a pattern about what's going on," he says.
Within his first month on the job, Steve Bennett hit the road and tested the hypotheses that he had formed during his interviews. In 30 days, he visited dozens of locations and talked to hundreds of people, gathering feedback and insight on what was right - and wrong - with the firm's operations.
3. As you ask questions, look for the rising stars whom you want as part of your team. Your listening tour may help you identify the key players whose skills you need as part of your management team. "If you're engaging in high quality inquiry, you'll want to keep people who had good answers," Patton says.
Asking tough questions is a critical skill, but not necessarily a pleasant experience. Patton offers other strategies and scripts for handling tough conversations:
4. Identify the kind of people who will flourish in the environment you want to establish. Even before interviewing people to assemble your team, take the time to identify the challenges ahead -- and the kind of people who are motivated by those situations.
When Scott Lutz was tapped to lead 8th Continent, a soy-milk company borne of a 50-50 joint venture between two corporate giants, DuPont and General Mills, he knew he needed to assemble a team of renegades - people with "the right mix of passion and courage," Lutz describes. "They had to be willing to do things that hadn't been done before."
5. After you've identified the ideal individual, identify the ideal group. Don't stop at finding the type of person you need. Envision how this person will interact with others to get the goals accomplished. Assemble the ideal team. In some cases, literally.
When Pat Gillick took over a mediocre Seattle Mariners club in 1999, he was keenly aware of the kind of group it would take to win a World Series. "Chemistry is unbelievably critical," Gillick says. "If you come into a workplace, and there is inconsistency, there are disruptive employees, or you don't know what to expect, then you won't be a motivated employee." The Mariners' quest for a happy clubhouse includes paying close attention to the wives and kids of the players. Gillick meets with wives early in the season to work out everything from ticketing to security to the potentially inflammatory problem of who sits where.
6. Acknowledge what you don't know. Identify those around you are the experts and don't be afraid to lean on them. No one expects an incoming leader to know everything. And perhaps there is nothing more off-putting to a future team than someone who mistakenly thinks he or she does.
After 15 years as a manufacturing engineer at Boeing, Bruce Moravec had mastered his technical discipline. But when he was promoted to run the 757 Stretch Program, an ambitious mandate to stretch the plane by 24 feet, add functionality, and do it in less than two years, he understood he'd have to gain the confidence of people who worked in areas he knew little about. "I had lots of credibility as a manufacturing engineer and second-level manager. But suddenly I was responsible for tool design, fuselage definition, all kinds of areas that weren't in my background."
7. Don't be afraid to listen to people who disagree. Listen, actively, to the people around you, especially those who challenge your assumptions.
Take it from Carlos Ghosn, Nissan's president and CEO and the engineer of the company's dramatic turnaround. "When I came to Nissan, I engaged in what I call 'active listening' with as many people as I could. I also got a lot of advice from outside the company, most of which was very conservative. People told me, 'You can't go fast in Japan. You can't close plants in Japan. You can't reduce head count.' I listened carefully, even to the opinions that totally contradicted my own beliefs, to make sure that when I made my decisions, I hadn't missed anything."
8. But clean house if you have to. Depending on the situation you step into, no matter how clear your vision is, and how evangelical you are, acknowledge that there may be people - some of whom may have already seen your predecessors come and go -- who are too jaded to follow.
Take Dale Fuller's experience. When he took over an ailing Borland Software, which at one time was a pioneer in developing developer tools, five different CEOs had already come and go in the preceding three years. Skeptics assumed that Fuller was the latest in a series of short-term custodians. Rather than embrace the new direction, they figured that they'd just wait Fuller out. Fuller had other ideas. Within six months, he fired about 400 people, including 60 of his top managers.
9. Establish a way to communicate with -- and listen to -- your entire team. Your strategic course of action is only as effective as your ability to communicate it. Have the pipeline and protocol set up to get your message out there, and don't forget that communication goes both ways.
Dick Brown took over EDS in 1999 and moved swiftly to change old beliefs and behaviors, unleashing a set of practices -- dubbed "operating mechanisms" -- that were designed to create a company-wide culture based on instant feedback and direct, unfiltered communication. One of these practices is the "monthly performance call." At the beginning of each month, 125 of the company's top worldwide executives punch into a conference call that begins promptly at 7 AM central daylight time. Participation is not optional.
10. Don't trash your predecessor, but don't be shy about promoting your own agenda. Do not assume that the prior administration screwed up or lost sight of the big picture. There's probably an element of truth in that. But it's almost certainly true that they had a different disaster that they were working to avoid, Patton says. If you've got a clear vision of what needs to be fixed, by all means, implement it. Then ask yourself what led those really smart people to do what they did in such a way that it made sense to them?
Talk about a predecessor: when Melvin Wearing took over the role of chief of police for New Haven, Connecticut, he filled the controversial shoes of someone who resigned after fathering an illegitimate child with a convicted prostitute. On February 24, 1997, his first day on the job, Wearing moved quickly to telegraph the changing of the guard. First up: a visit to each of the day's four lineups (the roll call of officers that begins each shift) -- a practice that his predecessor had shunned
11. Settle on a few major priorities. You can't fix everything at once. "Typically, you can't do everything you want to do, so you need to make some strategic choices," Patton says. "This is where you begin to align the organization around a common vision for the future."
Perhaps Wearing's most far-reaching legacy will be his focus on quality-of-life crimes -- the so-called broken-windows approach to policing. Just as Rudy Giuliani cracked down on New York's squeegee men, Wearing declared war on New Haven's vagrants and hookers, street-corner dealers, and boom-box blasters. By nipping misdemeanors in the bud, Wearing argues, police may deter more-serious crimes. His approach seems to be working. In 1997, New Haven logged 13,950 major crimes; in 2001, the city had a total of 9,322.
12. Meet the customers. Balance the big picture vision with-front line views. There is no reconnaissance more important than scouting out the territory where your products and services meet their customers. Seeing the customers actually interact provides some invaluable information.
When Gary Kusin took over as CEO of Kinko's Inc., he went into every single one of its 24 markets in the United States, visited more than 200 stores, and met with more than 2,500 team members.
13. Target a few early wins. Momentum counts, and nothing succeeds like success. It's critical for a new leader to create momentum during the transition, say Dan Ciampa and Michael Watkins in their book, "Right from the Start: Taking Charge in a New Leadership Role." Pick some problems the organization has not been able to address and figure out a way to fix them quickly to establish a new direction.
When Jim Berra was promoted to head the Starwood Hotels & Resorts Guest program in July 2001, and like any newcomer to a job, Berra was keen to have a few big wins to energize his new team. "I didn't want to solve world hunger in the first three months, but I was looking for a couple of things that would pay immediate dividends," he says. So he focused on three priorities: First, he had to build better awareness of the company's Preferred Guest program, which lagged behind Hilton and Marriott in visibility despite its unprecedented policies of having no blackout dates and no limit on free rooms. Second, he had to find a way to measure the program's performance. And finally, he had to research customer segmentation for future promotions.
14. Keep an eye on the clock. Faster is almost always better. "Make sure your time is used to its best advantage," says Patton. "When you're new to an organization, many people will want your attention. While it's pleasant to swap stories about each other's golf game, you're better off saving them for the fairway, and using the time in the office to engage in a learning-oriented conversation."
Here's a tip: Create a "Stop Doing" List. Take a look at your desk. If you're like most hard-charging leaders, you've got a well-articulated to-do list. Now take another look: Where's your stop-doing list? We've all been told that leaders make things happen -- and that's true. But it's also true that great leaders distinguish themselves by their unyielding discipline to stop doing anything and everything that doesn't fit.
15. Don't be afraid to make mistakes but be sure to fix them faster than you make them. Any new situation is fraught with hazards, but taking over a top job exposes a new leader to pitfalls ranging from the personal to the organizational. Accept that you can't know everything in your first six months, and even an extensive professional background can't insulate you from making mistakes in an unfamiliar company and culture. The key is to assess yourself and your progress as rigorously as you do your new colleagues and workplace, and to be prepared to make your own course corrections as you go along.
Last year, Lydia Shire and Paul Licari took over Locke-Ober, a Boston restaurant and Brahmin institution founded in 1875. The entire city was watching, and everybody had an opinion. And the first 10 days were a disaster. "You could have put me in front of a firing squad and it would have felt better," Licari shares.
16. Be wary of reckless re-engineering. If you're assuming leadership of a large organization or department, take the time to understand its current trajectory. Making too drastic and immediate a change can derail both confidence and long-term strategy. Stanford Business School Professor, Jim Collins, warns leaders to be cautious. "Why do overhyped change programs ultimately fail? Because they lack accountability, they fail to achieve credibility, and they have no authenticity."
Consider the Warner-Lambert Co. in the early 1980s. In 1979, Warner-Lambert told Business Week that it aimed to be a leading consumer-products company. One year later, it did an abrupt about-face and turned its sights on health care. In 1981, the company reversed course again and returned to diversification and consumer goods. Then in 1987, Warner-Lambert made another U-turn, away from consumer goods, and announced that it wanted to compete with Merck. Then in the early 1990s, the company responded to government announcements of pending health-care reform and re-embraced diversification and consumer brands. Between 1979 and 1998, Warner-Lambert underwent three major restructurings -- one per CEO. Each new CEO arrived with his own program; each CEO halted the momentum of his predecessor.
17. Don't be afraid to look for ideas in unusual places. Don't just read your own industry's trade journals. Cast a wide net for insights -- sometimes the breakthrough idea lies in the triumphs of a completely different industry.
When Rob McEwen, took over an underperforming gold mine in northwestern Ontario, he assumed a tough situation: The gold market was depressed, the mine's operating costs were high, and miners were on strike. His breakthrough - an unprecedented move to make his company's proprietary information public and launching a contest to develop the mine over the Internet - came from learning about the Linux operating system and the open-source revolution.
18. Finally, ask yourself who do you really want to prevail, you or your organization? You'd be surprised by the difference.
Consider this: Jim Collins and his team at Stanford Graduate School of Business and asked, what makes a good company great? They started with 1,435 good companies, examined their performance over 40 years, and then identified 11 companies that became great.
Here's one thing they found: The CEOs who took their companies from good to great were largely anonymous -- a far cry from the celebrity CEOs we read about. Collins believes this is more a matter of cause and effect than an accident. There is something directly related between the absence of celebrity and the presence of good-to-great results. Why? First, when you have a celebrity, the company turns into "the one genius with 1,000 helpers." It creates a sense that the whole thing is really about the CEO. And that leads to all sorts of problems - especially if the person goes away or if the person turns out not to be a genius after all.
From: By: Fast Company
This online guide is based on the September 2002 article, "Sudden Impact" But why stop at 18? Don't forget to share your own experiences and advice using our Sound Off! feature below.
1. Begin your transition before you start the job. Use the interview process to get an early jump on learning about the organization. Ask critical questions: How are decisions made? What are the key challenges? Which functions are strong, and which ones need to be overhauled? Use that information to build some initial hypotheses about how you would change things for the better.
Take your cue from Steve Bennett who took over the CEO spot at Intuit Corp. "The interview process is where you start," he says. "That's where you ask all of the questions about what it takes to be successful."
2. Travel widely within your organization, listen carefully, and look for patterns in everything you see and hear. Bruce Patton, co-author of "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" and a partner with Vantage Partners, a Boston-based relationship management consulting firm, advises new leaders to spend a lot of time listening and asking questions. Talk to employees up and down the hierarchy. "Soon you'll start to see a pattern about what's going on," he says.
Within his first month on the job, Steve Bennett hit the road and tested the hypotheses that he had formed during his interviews. In 30 days, he visited dozens of locations and talked to hundreds of people, gathering feedback and insight on what was right - and wrong - with the firm's operations.
3. As you ask questions, look for the rising stars whom you want as part of your team. Your listening tour may help you identify the key players whose skills you need as part of your management team. "If you're engaging in high quality inquiry, you'll want to keep people who had good answers," Patton says.
Asking tough questions is a critical skill, but not necessarily a pleasant experience. Patton offers other strategies and scripts for handling tough conversations:
4. Identify the kind of people who will flourish in the environment you want to establish. Even before interviewing people to assemble your team, take the time to identify the challenges ahead -- and the kind of people who are motivated by those situations.
When Scott Lutz was tapped to lead 8th Continent, a soy-milk company borne of a 50-50 joint venture between two corporate giants, DuPont and General Mills, he knew he needed to assemble a team of renegades - people with "the right mix of passion and courage," Lutz describes. "They had to be willing to do things that hadn't been done before."
5. After you've identified the ideal individual, identify the ideal group. Don't stop at finding the type of person you need. Envision how this person will interact with others to get the goals accomplished. Assemble the ideal team. In some cases, literally.
When Pat Gillick took over a mediocre Seattle Mariners club in 1999, he was keenly aware of the kind of group it would take to win a World Series. "Chemistry is unbelievably critical," Gillick says. "If you come into a workplace, and there is inconsistency, there are disruptive employees, or you don't know what to expect, then you won't be a motivated employee." The Mariners' quest for a happy clubhouse includes paying close attention to the wives and kids of the players. Gillick meets with wives early in the season to work out everything from ticketing to security to the potentially inflammatory problem of who sits where.
6. Acknowledge what you don't know. Identify those around you are the experts and don't be afraid to lean on them. No one expects an incoming leader to know everything. And perhaps there is nothing more off-putting to a future team than someone who mistakenly thinks he or she does.
After 15 years as a manufacturing engineer at Boeing, Bruce Moravec had mastered his technical discipline. But when he was promoted to run the 757 Stretch Program, an ambitious mandate to stretch the plane by 24 feet, add functionality, and do it in less than two years, he understood he'd have to gain the confidence of people who worked in areas he knew little about. "I had lots of credibility as a manufacturing engineer and second-level manager. But suddenly I was responsible for tool design, fuselage definition, all kinds of areas that weren't in my background."
7. Don't be afraid to listen to people who disagree. Listen, actively, to the people around you, especially those who challenge your assumptions.
Take it from Carlos Ghosn, Nissan's president and CEO and the engineer of the company's dramatic turnaround. "When I came to Nissan, I engaged in what I call 'active listening' with as many people as I could. I also got a lot of advice from outside the company, most of which was very conservative. People told me, 'You can't go fast in Japan. You can't close plants in Japan. You can't reduce head count.' I listened carefully, even to the opinions that totally contradicted my own beliefs, to make sure that when I made my decisions, I hadn't missed anything."
8. But clean house if you have to. Depending on the situation you step into, no matter how clear your vision is, and how evangelical you are, acknowledge that there may be people - some of whom may have already seen your predecessors come and go -- who are too jaded to follow.
Take Dale Fuller's experience. When he took over an ailing Borland Software, which at one time was a pioneer in developing developer tools, five different CEOs had already come and go in the preceding three years. Skeptics assumed that Fuller was the latest in a series of short-term custodians. Rather than embrace the new direction, they figured that they'd just wait Fuller out. Fuller had other ideas. Within six months, he fired about 400 people, including 60 of his top managers.
9. Establish a way to communicate with -- and listen to -- your entire team. Your strategic course of action is only as effective as your ability to communicate it. Have the pipeline and protocol set up to get your message out there, and don't forget that communication goes both ways.
Dick Brown took over EDS in 1999 and moved swiftly to change old beliefs and behaviors, unleashing a set of practices -- dubbed "operating mechanisms" -- that were designed to create a company-wide culture based on instant feedback and direct, unfiltered communication. One of these practices is the "monthly performance call." At the beginning of each month, 125 of the company's top worldwide executives punch into a conference call that begins promptly at 7 AM central daylight time. Participation is not optional.
10. Don't trash your predecessor, but don't be shy about promoting your own agenda. Do not assume that the prior administration screwed up or lost sight of the big picture. There's probably an element of truth in that. But it's almost certainly true that they had a different disaster that they were working to avoid, Patton says. If you've got a clear vision of what needs to be fixed, by all means, implement it. Then ask yourself what led those really smart people to do what they did in such a way that it made sense to them?
Talk about a predecessor: when Melvin Wearing took over the role of chief of police for New Haven, Connecticut, he filled the controversial shoes of someone who resigned after fathering an illegitimate child with a convicted prostitute. On February 24, 1997, his first day on the job, Wearing moved quickly to telegraph the changing of the guard. First up: a visit to each of the day's four lineups (the roll call of officers that begins each shift) -- a practice that his predecessor had shunned
11. Settle on a few major priorities. You can't fix everything at once. "Typically, you can't do everything you want to do, so you need to make some strategic choices," Patton says. "This is where you begin to align the organization around a common vision for the future."
Perhaps Wearing's most far-reaching legacy will be his focus on quality-of-life crimes -- the so-called broken-windows approach to policing. Just as Rudy Giuliani cracked down on New York's squeegee men, Wearing declared war on New Haven's vagrants and hookers, street-corner dealers, and boom-box blasters. By nipping misdemeanors in the bud, Wearing argues, police may deter more-serious crimes. His approach seems to be working. In 1997, New Haven logged 13,950 major crimes; in 2001, the city had a total of 9,322.
12. Meet the customers. Balance the big picture vision with-front line views. There is no reconnaissance more important than scouting out the territory where your products and services meet their customers. Seeing the customers actually interact provides some invaluable information.
When Gary Kusin took over as CEO of Kinko's Inc., he went into every single one of its 24 markets in the United States, visited more than 200 stores, and met with more than 2,500 team members.
13. Target a few early wins. Momentum counts, and nothing succeeds like success. It's critical for a new leader to create momentum during the transition, say Dan Ciampa and Michael Watkins in their book, "Right from the Start: Taking Charge in a New Leadership Role." Pick some problems the organization has not been able to address and figure out a way to fix them quickly to establish a new direction.
When Jim Berra was promoted to head the Starwood Hotels & Resorts Guest program in July 2001, and like any newcomer to a job, Berra was keen to have a few big wins to energize his new team. "I didn't want to solve world hunger in the first three months, but I was looking for a couple of things that would pay immediate dividends," he says. So he focused on three priorities: First, he had to build better awareness of the company's Preferred Guest program, which lagged behind Hilton and Marriott in visibility despite its unprecedented policies of having no blackout dates and no limit on free rooms. Second, he had to find a way to measure the program's performance. And finally, he had to research customer segmentation for future promotions.
14. Keep an eye on the clock. Faster is almost always better. "Make sure your time is used to its best advantage," says Patton. "When you're new to an organization, many people will want your attention. While it's pleasant to swap stories about each other's golf game, you're better off saving them for the fairway, and using the time in the office to engage in a learning-oriented conversation."
Here's a tip: Create a "Stop Doing" List. Take a look at your desk. If you're like most hard-charging leaders, you've got a well-articulated to-do list. Now take another look: Where's your stop-doing list? We've all been told that leaders make things happen -- and that's true. But it's also true that great leaders distinguish themselves by their unyielding discipline to stop doing anything and everything that doesn't fit.
15. Don't be afraid to make mistakes but be sure to fix them faster than you make them. Any new situation is fraught with hazards, but taking over a top job exposes a new leader to pitfalls ranging from the personal to the organizational. Accept that you can't know everything in your first six months, and even an extensive professional background can't insulate you from making mistakes in an unfamiliar company and culture. The key is to assess yourself and your progress as rigorously as you do your new colleagues and workplace, and to be prepared to make your own course corrections as you go along.
Last year, Lydia Shire and Paul Licari took over Locke-Ober, a Boston restaurant and Brahmin institution founded in 1875. The entire city was watching, and everybody had an opinion. And the first 10 days were a disaster. "You could have put me in front of a firing squad and it would have felt better," Licari shares.
16. Be wary of reckless re-engineering. If you're assuming leadership of a large organization or department, take the time to understand its current trajectory. Making too drastic and immediate a change can derail both confidence and long-term strategy. Stanford Business School Professor, Jim Collins, warns leaders to be cautious. "Why do overhyped change programs ultimately fail? Because they lack accountability, they fail to achieve credibility, and they have no authenticity."
Consider the Warner-Lambert Co. in the early 1980s. In 1979, Warner-Lambert told Business Week that it aimed to be a leading consumer-products company. One year later, it did an abrupt about-face and turned its sights on health care. In 1981, the company reversed course again and returned to diversification and consumer goods. Then in 1987, Warner-Lambert made another U-turn, away from consumer goods, and announced that it wanted to compete with Merck. Then in the early 1990s, the company responded to government announcements of pending health-care reform and re-embraced diversification and consumer brands. Between 1979 and 1998, Warner-Lambert underwent three major restructurings -- one per CEO. Each new CEO arrived with his own program; each CEO halted the momentum of his predecessor.
17. Don't be afraid to look for ideas in unusual places. Don't just read your own industry's trade journals. Cast a wide net for insights -- sometimes the breakthrough idea lies in the triumphs of a completely different industry.
When Rob McEwen, took over an underperforming gold mine in northwestern Ontario, he assumed a tough situation: The gold market was depressed, the mine's operating costs were high, and miners were on strike. His breakthrough - an unprecedented move to make his company's proprietary information public and launching a contest to develop the mine over the Internet - came from learning about the Linux operating system and the open-source revolution.
18. Finally, ask yourself who do you really want to prevail, you or your organization? You'd be surprised by the difference.
Consider this: Jim Collins and his team at Stanford Graduate School of Business and asked, what makes a good company great? They started with 1,435 good companies, examined their performance over 40 years, and then identified 11 companies that became great.
Here's one thing they found: The CEOs who took their companies from good to great were largely anonymous -- a far cry from the celebrity CEOs we read about. Collins believes this is more a matter of cause and effect than an accident. There is something directly related between the absence of celebrity and the presence of good-to-great results. Why? First, when you have a celebrity, the company turns into "the one genius with 1,000 helpers." It creates a sense that the whole thing is really about the CEO. And that leads to all sorts of problems - especially if the person goes away or if the person turns out not to be a genius after all.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
KEPADA MEREKA YANG SIBUK BERKARIR
Seperti biasa Rudi, kepala cabang di sebuah perusahaan swasta terkemuka di Jakarta, tiba di rumahnya pada pukul 9 malam. Tidak seperti biasanya, Imron, Putra pertamanya yang baru duduk di kelas dua SD yang membukakan pintu. Ia nampaknya sudah menunggu cukup lama.
"Kok, belum tidur?" sapa Rudi sambil mencium anaknya. Biasanya, Imron memang sudah lelap ketika ia pulang dan baru terjaga ketika ia akan berangkat ke kantor pagi Hari. Sambil membuntuti sang ayah menuju ruang keluarga, Imron menjawab, "Aku nunggu Ayah pulang. Sebab aku mau tanya berapa sih gaji Ayah?"
"Lho, tumben, kok nanya gaji Ayah? Mau minta uang lagi, ya?"
"Ah, enggak. Pengen tahu aja."
"Oke. Kamu boleh hitung sendiri. Setiap Hari Ayah bekerja sekitar 10 jam dan Dibayar Rp 400.000,-. Dan setiap bulan rata-rata dihitung 25 Hari kerja. Jadi, gaji Ayah dalam satu bulan berapa, hayo?"
Imron berlari mengambil kertas Dan pensilnya dari meja belajar, sementara ayahnya melepas sepatu dan menyalakan televisi. Ketika Rudi beranjak menuju kamar untuk berganti pakaian, Imron berlari mengikutinya.
"Kalau satu Hari ayah dibayar Rp 400.000,- untuk 10 jam, berarti satu jam ayah digaji Rp 40.000,- dong," katanya.
"Wah, pinter kamu. Sudah, sekarang cuci kaki, bobok," perintah Rudi.
Tetapi Imron tak beranjak. Sambil menyaksikan ayahnya berganti pakaian, Imron kembali bertanya, "Ayah, aku boleh pinjam uang Rp 5.000,- nggak?"
"Sudah, nggak usah macam-macam lagi. Buat apa minta uang malam-malam begini? Ayah capek. dan mau mandi dulu. Tidurlah."
"Tapi, Ayah..."
Kesabaran Rudi habis. "Ayah bilang tidur!" hardiknya mengejutkan Imron. Anak Kecil itu pun berbalik menuju kamarnya. Usai mandi, Rudi nampak menyesali Hardikannya. Ia pun menengok Imron di kamar tidurnya. Anak kesayangannya Itu Belum tidur. Imron didapatinya sedang terisak-isak pelan sambil memegang uang Rp 15.000,- di tangannya.
Sambil berbaring Dan mengelus kepala bocah kecil itu, Rudi berkata, "Maafkan Ayah, Nak. Ayah sayang sama Imron. Buat apa sih minta uang malam-malam Begini? Kalau mau beli mainan, besok' kan bisa. Jangankan Rp 5.000,- lebih dari itu pun ayah kasih."
"Ayah, aku nggak minta uang. Aku pinjam. Nanti aku kembalikan kalau sudah menabung lagi dari uang jajan selama minggu ini."
"Iya,iya, tapi buat apa?" tanya Rudi lembut.
"Aku menunggu Ayah dari jam 8. Aku mau ajak Ayah main ular tangga. Tiga puluh menit saja. Ibu sering bilang kalau waktu Ayah itu sangat berharga. Jadi, aku mau beli waktu ayah. Aku buka tabunganku, Ada Rp 15.000,-. Tapi karena Ayah bilang satu jam Ayah dibayar Rp 40.000,-, maka setengah jam harus Rp 20.000,-. Duit tabunganku kurang Rp 5.000,-. Makanya aku mau pinjam Dari Ayah," kata Imron polos.
Rudi terdiam. Ia kehilangan kata-kata. Dipeluknya bocah kecil itu erat-erat.
(Saya tidak tahu apakah kisah di atas fiktif atau kisah nyata. Tapi saya tahu kebanyakan anak-anak orang kantoran maupun wirausahawan saat ini memang Merindukan saat-saat bercengkerama dengan orang tua mereka. Saat dimana mereka tidak merasa "disingkirkan" Dan diserahkan kepada suster, pembantu atau sopir. Mereka tidak butuh uang yang lebih banyak. Mereka ingin lebih dari itu. Mereka ingin merasakan sentuhan kasih-sayang Ayah dan Ibunya. Apakah hal ini berlebihan? Sebagian besar wanita karier yang nampaknya menikmati emansipasi-nya, diam-diam menangis dalam hati ketika anak-anak mereka lebih dekat dengan suster, supir, Dan pembantu daripada ibu kandung mereka sendiri. Seorang wanita muda yang menduduki posisi asisten manajer sebuah bank swasta, menangis pilu ketika menceritakan bagaimana anaknya yang Sakit demam tinggi tak mau dipeluk ibunya, tetapi berteriak-teriak memanggil nama pembantu mereka yang sedang mudik lebaran.)
"Kok, belum tidur?" sapa Rudi sambil mencium anaknya. Biasanya, Imron memang sudah lelap ketika ia pulang dan baru terjaga ketika ia akan berangkat ke kantor pagi Hari. Sambil membuntuti sang ayah menuju ruang keluarga, Imron menjawab, "Aku nunggu Ayah pulang. Sebab aku mau tanya berapa sih gaji Ayah?"
"Lho, tumben, kok nanya gaji Ayah? Mau minta uang lagi, ya?"
"Ah, enggak. Pengen tahu aja."
"Oke. Kamu boleh hitung sendiri. Setiap Hari Ayah bekerja sekitar 10 jam dan Dibayar Rp 400.000,-. Dan setiap bulan rata-rata dihitung 25 Hari kerja. Jadi, gaji Ayah dalam satu bulan berapa, hayo?"
Imron berlari mengambil kertas Dan pensilnya dari meja belajar, sementara ayahnya melepas sepatu dan menyalakan televisi. Ketika Rudi beranjak menuju kamar untuk berganti pakaian, Imron berlari mengikutinya.
"Kalau satu Hari ayah dibayar Rp 400.000,- untuk 10 jam, berarti satu jam ayah digaji Rp 40.000,- dong," katanya.
"Wah, pinter kamu. Sudah, sekarang cuci kaki, bobok," perintah Rudi.
Tetapi Imron tak beranjak. Sambil menyaksikan ayahnya berganti pakaian, Imron kembali bertanya, "Ayah, aku boleh pinjam uang Rp 5.000,- nggak?"
"Sudah, nggak usah macam-macam lagi. Buat apa minta uang malam-malam begini? Ayah capek. dan mau mandi dulu. Tidurlah."
"Tapi, Ayah..."
Kesabaran Rudi habis. "Ayah bilang tidur!" hardiknya mengejutkan Imron. Anak Kecil itu pun berbalik menuju kamarnya. Usai mandi, Rudi nampak menyesali Hardikannya. Ia pun menengok Imron di kamar tidurnya. Anak kesayangannya Itu Belum tidur. Imron didapatinya sedang terisak-isak pelan sambil memegang uang Rp 15.000,- di tangannya.
Sambil berbaring Dan mengelus kepala bocah kecil itu, Rudi berkata, "Maafkan Ayah, Nak. Ayah sayang sama Imron. Buat apa sih minta uang malam-malam Begini? Kalau mau beli mainan, besok' kan bisa. Jangankan Rp 5.000,- lebih dari itu pun ayah kasih."
"Ayah, aku nggak minta uang. Aku pinjam. Nanti aku kembalikan kalau sudah menabung lagi dari uang jajan selama minggu ini."
"Iya,iya, tapi buat apa?" tanya Rudi lembut.
"Aku menunggu Ayah dari jam 8. Aku mau ajak Ayah main ular tangga. Tiga puluh menit saja. Ibu sering bilang kalau waktu Ayah itu sangat berharga. Jadi, aku mau beli waktu ayah. Aku buka tabunganku, Ada Rp 15.000,-. Tapi karena Ayah bilang satu jam Ayah dibayar Rp 40.000,-, maka setengah jam harus Rp 20.000,-. Duit tabunganku kurang Rp 5.000,-. Makanya aku mau pinjam Dari Ayah," kata Imron polos.
Rudi terdiam. Ia kehilangan kata-kata. Dipeluknya bocah kecil itu erat-erat.
(Saya tidak tahu apakah kisah di atas fiktif atau kisah nyata. Tapi saya tahu kebanyakan anak-anak orang kantoran maupun wirausahawan saat ini memang Merindukan saat-saat bercengkerama dengan orang tua mereka. Saat dimana mereka tidak merasa "disingkirkan" Dan diserahkan kepada suster, pembantu atau sopir. Mereka tidak butuh uang yang lebih banyak. Mereka ingin lebih dari itu. Mereka ingin merasakan sentuhan kasih-sayang Ayah dan Ibunya. Apakah hal ini berlebihan? Sebagian besar wanita karier yang nampaknya menikmati emansipasi-nya, diam-diam menangis dalam hati ketika anak-anak mereka lebih dekat dengan suster, supir, Dan pembantu daripada ibu kandung mereka sendiri. Seorang wanita muda yang menduduki posisi asisten manajer sebuah bank swasta, menangis pilu ketika menceritakan bagaimana anaknya yang Sakit demam tinggi tak mau dipeluk ibunya, tetapi berteriak-teriak memanggil nama pembantu mereka yang sedang mudik lebaran.)
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
SEGENGGAM GUNDAH BUAT AYAH
Pagi tadi ketika aku hendak berangkat ke kantor seperti biasa isteriku mengantar sampai pagar depan rumah. "Yah, beras sudah habis loh...," ujar isteriku. Aku hanya tersenyum dan bersiap melangkah, namun langkahku terhenti oleh panggilan anakku dari dalam rumah, "Yah, cucu yah" (anakku minta dibelikan susu spt biasa)."Iya...," jawabku. Getir terdengar di telingaku, membuat langkahku semakin berat.
Ngomong-ngomong, saya jadi ingat pesan istriku semalam, "Besok beliin lengkeng ya" dan saya hanya menjawabnya dengan "Insya Allah" sambil berharap istriku tak kecewa jika malam nanti tangan ini tak berjinjing buah kesukaannya itu. Di kantor, seorang teman menerima SMS nyasar, "Jangan lupa, pulang beliin susu Nadia ya". Kontan saja SMS itu membuat temanku bingung dan sedikit berkelakar, "Ini, anak siapa minta susunya ke siapa". Saya pun sempat berpikir, mungkin jika SMS itu benar-benar sampai ke nomor sang Ayah, tambah satu gundah lagi yang bersemayam. Kalau tersedia cukup uang di kantong, tidaklah masalah. Bagaimana jika sebaliknya? Banyak para Ayah setiap pagi membawa serta gundah mereka, mengiringi setiap langkah hingga ke kantor.
Keluhan isteri semalam tentang uang belanja yang sudah habis, mungkin juga bayaran sekolah anak yang tertunggak jika anakku sudah sekolah nanti, susu si kecil yang tersisa di sendok terakhir, bayar tagihan listrik & telephone, atau mungkin hutang di warung tetangga yang mulai sering mengganggu tidur, dan segunung gundah lain yang kerap membuatku terlamun.
Pasti tidak sedikit Ayah yang tangguh yang ingin membuat isterinya tersenyum, meyakinkan anak-anaknya tenang dengan satu kalimat, "Iya, nanti semua Ayah bereskan," meski dadanya bergemuruh kencang dan otaknya berputar mencari jalan untuk janjinya membereskan semua gundah yang ia genggam.
Maka sejarah pun berlangsung, banyak para Ayah yang berakhir di tali gantungan tak kuat menahan beban ekonomi yang semakin menjerat cekat lehernya. Baginya, tali gantungan tak bedanya dengan jeratan hutang dan rengekan keluarga yang tak pernah bisa ia sanggupi. Sama-sama menjerat, bedanya, tali gantungan menjerat lebih cepat dan tidak perlahan-lahan. Tidak sedikit para Ayah yang membiarkan tangannya berlumuran darah sambil menggenggam sebilah pisau mengorbankan hak orang lain demi menuntaskan gundahnya. Walau akhirnya ia pun harus berakhir di dalam penjara.
Yang pasti, tak henti tangis bayi di rumahnya, karena susu yang dijanjikan sang Ayah tak pernah terbeli. Tak jarang para Ayah yang terpaksa menggadaikan keimanannya, menipu rekan sekantor, mendustai atasan dengan memanipulasi angka-angka, atau berbuat curang di balik meja teman sekerja. Isteri dan anak-anaknya tak pernah tahu dan tak pernah bertanya dari mana uang yang didapat sang Ayah. Halalkah? Karena yang penting teredam sudah gundah hari itu.Teramat banyak para isteri dan anak-anak yang setia menunggu kepulangan Ayahnya, hingga larut yang ditunggu tak juga kembali. Sementara jauh disana, lelaki yang isteri dan anak-anaknya setia menunggu itu telah babak belur tak berkutik, hancur meregang nyawa, menahan sisa-sisa nafas terakhir setelah dihajar massa yang geram oleh aksi pencopetan yang dilakukannya. Sekali lagi, ada yang rela menanggung resiko ini demi segenggam gundah yang mesti ia tuntaskan.
Sungguh, di antara sekian banyak Ayah itu, saya teramat salut dengan sebagian Ayah lain yang tetap sabar menggenggam gundahnya, membawanya kembali ke rumah, menyertakannya dalam mimpi, mengadukannya dalam setiap sujud panjangnya di pertengahan malam, hingga membawanya kembali bersama pagi. Berharap ada rezeki yang Allah berikan hari itu, agar tuntas satu persatu gundah yang masih ia genggam. Ayah yang ini, masih percaya bahwa Allah takkan membiarkan hamba-Nya berada dalam kekufuran akibat gundah-gundah yang tak pernah usai. Para Ayah ini, yang akan menyelesaikan semua gundahnya tanpa harus menciptakan gundah baru bagi keluarganya. Karena ia takkan menuntaskan gundahnya dengan tali gantungan, atau dengan tangan berlumur darah, atau berakhir di balik jeruji pengap, atau bahkan membiarkan seseorang tak dikenal membawa kabar buruk tentang dirinya yang hangus dibakar massa setelah tertangkap basah mencopet.
Dan aku, sebagai Ayah, akan tetap menggenggam gundahku dengan senyum. Aku yakin, Allah suka terhadap orang-orang yang tersenyum dan ringan melangkah di balik semua keluh dan gundahnya. Semoga.. (Gautama)
Monday, February 20, 2006
KELUH KESAH
Hidup di kota besar semacam Jakarta atau Bandung membutuhkan kekuatan iman dan kekuatan mental. Macet di perjalanan dalam waktu-waktu tertentu adalah suatu permasalahan yang kadangkala sering kita hadapi. Tak heran bila untuk sebuah perjalanan, kalau kita tidak memakai strategi yang bagus, tidak memakai perencanaan yang matang, maka kemacetan akan benar-benar mencuri waktu begitu lama. Terkadang bisa berjam-jam di jalan. Kalau saja tidak berusaha untuk bening hati, sepertinya sepanjang jalan yang terjadi hanya dongkol dan marah-marah. "Aduh , kapan sampainya! Aduh, kok ini lama banget! Aduh, kok macet terus!" Mungkin ungkapannya seperti itu. Aduh dan aduh.
Padahal kata-kata aduh, kalau hanya tanda keluh kesah, sebetulnya tidak menyelesaikan masalah. Justru kata-kata yang terlontar itu menunjukkan ketidaksabaran kita. Apalagi tiba-tiba di pinggir jalan ada kendaraan lain berhenti seenaknya. Kita boleh kecewa dan melihat ini sebagai sesuatu yang harus diperbaiki. Tetapi, tidak berarti kita harus sengsara dengan marah-marah atau berkeluh kesah. Mata terbeliak dan mulut kadang berucap "Minggir, dong!" Mungkin inginnya menghardik seperti itu. Tetapi, alangkah lebih baiknya jika kita menyapa dengan kata yang lemah lembut, "Maaf, Pak! Boleh agak ke pinggir sedikit!" Ungkapan seperti ini nampaknya akan lebih ringan ke dalam hati, dari pada melotot dengan menggunakan otot.
Boleh jadi kalau sudah banyak kedongkolan, selain akan banyak berkeluh kesah, juga akan menjadikan diri lebih emosional. Ini yang paling merugikan. Bagi kita maupun orang lain. Kita harus mengukur kehilangan waktu dalam beberapa menit atau beberapa jam, padahal waktu tersebut sebenarnya dapat menjadi tambahan ilmu dan kemampuan diri kita. Ada baiknya, selama perjalanan lengkapi diri dengan sumber-sumber ilmu, baik berupa kaset ceramah, nasyid, atau kaset murotal Qur'an. Sumber-sumber ini akan menambah percepatan keilmuan kita, disamping akan membuat kita tidak tergoda untuk ber-aduh ria. "Aduh, terlambat nih! Aduh, sialan kamu! Aduh, ada yang ketinggalan nih!" Kata-kata seperti ini sebetulnya tidak perlu dikeluarkan! Karena tidak menyelesaikan masalah. Lebih baik kita isi dengan do'a: "Ya Allah, semoga saya datang tepat waktu, semoga ada jalan keluar dari kemacetan ini". Kata-kata ini akan lebih produktif dibandingkan dengan kata "aduh".
Marilah kita meminimalisirkan keluh-kesah seperti ini. Apalagi bagi kita pun ada kenikmatan tersendiri bila kita bicara lebih santun. Kesantunan akan membuat batin kita lebih ringan dari pada berperilaku emosional. Lebih dari itu, kelembutan akan mampu menaklukan sesuatu yang tidak bisa dilakukan dengan kekerasan. Itu sudah bagian dari rumusnya. Karena, kalau orang-orang keras dilawan dengan kekerasan, maka itu akan merasa bagian dari dunianya. Tapi, kalau orang-orang yang bertemperamen keras itu diberi kelembutan yang tulus dari lubuk hati yang paling dalam, Isya Allah mereka akan terbawa lembut juga. Contohnya, orang sekeras Umar bin Khattab atau Khalid bin Walid bisa jatuh tersengkur menagis oleh lembutnya alunan Al-Qur'an.
Berkeluh kesah seringkali membuat kita terdramatisasi oleh masalah. Seakan-akan rencana dan keinginan kita lebih baik daripada yang terjadi. Padahal, belum tentu. Siapa tahu, di balik kejadian yang mengecewakan menurut kita, ternyata sarat dengan perlindungan Allah dan sarat dengan terkabulnya harapan-harapan kita. Tiap melakukan kekeliruan, kita ditolong Allah dengan memberikan tuntunan-Nya. Tuntunan itu tidak harus dengan terkabulnya keinginan yang kita mohonkan. Bisa jadi terkabulnya do'a itu bertolak belakang dengan yang kita minta. Karena Allah Mahatahu di balik apapun keinginan kita. Baik keinginan jangka pendek, maupun keinginan jangka panjang. Baik kerugian duniawi maupun kerugian ukhrawi. Baik kerugian secara materi maupun secara kerugian mental. Kita tidak bisa mendeteksi secara cermat. Kadang-kadang kita hanya mendeteksinya sesuai dengan keperluan hawa nafsu kita.
Kelihatannya sepele mengaduh ini. Tetapi, itu akan menjadi kualifikasi pengendalian diri kita. Ketahuilah bahwa kualitas seseorang itu tidak diukur dengan sesuatu yang besar-besar, tetapi oleh yang kecil-kecil. Kalau kita ingin melihat kompleks perumahan yang berkualitas, maka kita lihat saja panjang pendek rumput di halamannya. Kalau berkualitas dan terawat dengan baik, maka rumputnya pun akan nampak terawat dengan baik. Marilah kita respon setiap kejadian demi kejadian dengan respon lisan yang positif. Mengapa? Karena setiap respon akan mempengaruhi persepsi kita terhadap masalah yang kita hadapi dan cara kita menyelesaikannya. Lebih dari itu akan berdampak pula kepada orang-orang di sekitar kita. Jadi, sapaan-sapaan, teguran-teguran, komentar-komentar, celetukan-celetukan ini harus benar-benar bernilai produktif. Tidak hanya berarti bagi diri kita, tetapi juga bagi orang di sekitar kita.
Apalagi keluh kesah termasuk penyakit hati, yaitu bentuk ketidaksabaran kita dalam menerima ketentuan dari Allah. Ada hadits qudsi yang menyatakan bahwa "Barang siapa yang tidak ridha terhadap ketentuan-Ku, dan tidak sabar atas musibah dari-Ku, maka carilah Tuhan selain Aku." (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim)
Dari hadits qudsi ini, nampaklah bahwa segala apapun yang Allah karuniakan kepada kita, maka kita harus menerimanya dengan ridha. Oleh karenanya, kita tidak perlu banyak mengaduh atau berkeluh kesah. Sedapat mungkin kurangi aduh-mengaduh ini. Jauh akan lebih produktif jikalau kita optimalkan waktu dengan banyak berdo'a dan menambah kualitas keilmuan diri serta terus menyempurnakan ikhtiar di jalan Allah yang diridhai.*** (Manajemen Qolbu - Aa Gym)
BELAJAR DARI WAJAH
Menarik sekali jikalau kita terus menerus belajar tentang fenomena apapun yang terjadi dalam hiruk-pikuk kehidupan ini. Tidak ada salahnya kalau kita buat semacam target. Misalnya : hari ini kita belajar tentang wajah. Wajah? Ya, wajah. Karena masalah wajah bukan hanya masalah bentuknya, tapi yang utama adalah pancaran yang tersemburat dari si pemilik wajah tersebut.
Ketika pagi menyingsing, misalnya, tekadkan dalam diri : "Saya ingin tahu wajah yang paling menenteramkan hati itu seperti apa? Wajah yang paling menggelisahkan itu seperti bagaimana?" karena pastilah hari ini kita akan banyak bertemu dengan wajah orang per orang. Ya, karena setiap orang pastilah punya wajah. Wajah irtri, suami, anak, tetangga, teman sekantor, orang di perjalanan, dan lain sebagainya. Nah, ketika kita berjumpa dengan siapapun hari ini, marilah kita belajar ilmu tentang wajah.
Subhanallaah, pastilah kita akan bertemu dengan beraneka macam bentuk wajah. Dan, tiap wajah ternyata dampaknya berbeda-beda kepada kita. Ada yang menenteramkan, ada yang menyejukkan, ada yang menggelikan, ada yang menggelisahkan, dan ada pula yang menakutkan. Lho, kok menakutkan? Kenapa? Apa yang menakutkan karena bentuk hidungnya? Tentu saja tidak! Sebab ada yang hidungnya mungil tapi menenteramkan. Ada yang sorot matanya tajam menghunjam, tapi menyejukkan. Ada yang kulitnya hitam, tapi penuh wibawa.
Pernah suatu ketika berjumpa dengan seorang ulama dari Afrika di Masjidil Haram, subhanallaah, walaupun kulitnya tidak putih, tidak kuning, tetapi ketika memandang wajahnya... sejuk sekali! Senyumnya begitu tulus meresap ke relung qolbu yang paling dalam. Sungguh bagai disiram air sejuk menyegarkan di pagi hari. Ada pula seorang ulama yang tubuhnya mungil, dan diberi karunia kelumpuhan sejak kecil. Namanya Syekh Ahmad Yassin, pemimpin spiritual gerakan Intifadah, Palestina. Ia tidak punya daya, duduknya saja di atas kursi roda. Hanya kepalanya saja yang bergerak. Tapi, saat menatap wajahnya, terpancar kesejukan yang luar biasa. Padahal, beliau jauh dari ketampanan wajah sebagaimana yang dianggap rupawan dalam versi manusia. Tapi, ternyata dibalik kelumpuhannya itu beliau memendam ketenteraman batin yang begitu dahsyat, tergambar saat kita memandang sejuknya pancaran rona wajahnya.
Nah, saudaraku, kalau hari ini kita berhasil menemukan struktur wajah seseorang yang menenteramkan, maka caru tahulah kenapa dia sampai memiliki wajah yang menenteramkan seperti itu. Tentulah, benar-benar kita akan menaruh hormat. Betapa senyumannya yang tulus; pancaran wajahnya, nampak ingin sekali ia membahagiakan siapapun yang menatapnya. Dan sebaliknya, bagaimana kalau kita menatap wajah lain dengan sifat yang berlawanan; (maaf, bukan bermaksud meremehkan) ada pula yang wajahnya bengis, struktur katanya ketus, sorot matanya kejam, senyumannya sinis, dan sikapnya pun tidak ramah. Begitulah, wajah-wajah dari saudara-saudara kita yang lain, yang belum mendapat ilmu; bengis dan ketus. Dan ini pun perlu kita pelajari.
Ambillah kelebihan dari wajah yang menenteramkan, yang menyejukkan tadi menjadi bagian dari wajah kita, dan buang jauh-jauh raut wajah yang tidak ramah, tidak menenteramkan, dan yang tidak menyejukkan.
Tidak ada salahnya jika kita evalusi diri di depan cermin. Tanyalah; raut seperti apakah yang ada di wajah kita ini? Memang ada diantara hamba-hamba Allah yang bibirnya di desain agak berat ke bawah. Kadang-kadang menyangkanya dia kurang senyum, sinis, atau kurang ramah. Subhanallaah, bentuk seperti ini pun karunia Allah yang patut disyukuri dan bisa jadi ladang amal bagi siapapun yang memilikinya untuk berusaha senyum ramah lebih maksimal lagi.
Sedangkan bagi wajah yang untuk seulas senyum itu sudah ada, maka tinggal meningkatkan lagi kualitas senyum tersebut, yaitu untuk lebih ikhlas lagi. Karena senyum di wajah, bukan hanya persoalan menyangkut ujung bibir saja, tapi yang utama adalah, ingin tidak kita membahagiakan orang lain? Ingin tidak kita membuat di sekitar kita tercahayai? Nabi Muhammad SAW, memberikan perhatian yang luar biasa kepada setiap orang yang bertemu dengan beliau sehingga orang itu merasa puas. Kenapa puas? Diriwayatkan bahwa Nabi Muhammad SAW – bila ada orang yang menyapanya – menganggap orang tersebut adalah orang yang paling utama di hadapan beliau. Sesuai kadar kemampuannya.
Walhasil, ketika Nabi SAW berbincang dengan siapapun, maka orang yang diajak berbincang ini senantiasa menjadi curahan perhatian. Tak heran bila cara memandang, cara bersikap, ternyata menjadi atribut kemuliaan yang beliau contohkan. Dan itu ternyata berpengaruh besar terhadap sikap dan perasaan orang yang diajak bicara.
Adapun kemuramdurjaan, ketidakenakkan, kegelisahan itu muncul ternyata diantara akibta kita belum menganggap orang yang ada dihadapan kita orang yang paling utama. Makanya, terkadang kita melihat seseorang itu hanya separuh mata, berbicara hanya separuh perhatian. Misalnya, ketika ada seseorang yang datang menghampiri, kita sapa orang itu sambil baca koran. Padahal, kalau kita sudah tidak mengutamakan orang lain, maka curahan kata-kata, cara memandang, cara bersikap, itu tidak akan punya daya sentuh. Tidak punya daya pancar yang kuat.
Orang karena itu, marilah kita berlatih diri meneliti wajah, tentu saja bukan maksud untuk meremehkan. Tapi, mengambil tauladan wajah yang baik, menghindari yang tidak baiknya, dan cari kuncinya kenapa sampai seperti itu? Lalu praktekkan dalam perilaku kita sehari-hari. Selain itu belajarlah untuk mengutamakan orang lain!
Mudah-mudahan kita dapat mengutamakan orang lain di hadapan kita, walaupun hanya beberapa menit, walaupun hanya beberapa detik, subhanallaah.*** (Manajemen Qolbu - Aa Gym)
Ketika pagi menyingsing, misalnya, tekadkan dalam diri : "Saya ingin tahu wajah yang paling menenteramkan hati itu seperti apa? Wajah yang paling menggelisahkan itu seperti bagaimana?" karena pastilah hari ini kita akan banyak bertemu dengan wajah orang per orang. Ya, karena setiap orang pastilah punya wajah. Wajah irtri, suami, anak, tetangga, teman sekantor, orang di perjalanan, dan lain sebagainya. Nah, ketika kita berjumpa dengan siapapun hari ini, marilah kita belajar ilmu tentang wajah.
Subhanallaah, pastilah kita akan bertemu dengan beraneka macam bentuk wajah. Dan, tiap wajah ternyata dampaknya berbeda-beda kepada kita. Ada yang menenteramkan, ada yang menyejukkan, ada yang menggelikan, ada yang menggelisahkan, dan ada pula yang menakutkan. Lho, kok menakutkan? Kenapa? Apa yang menakutkan karena bentuk hidungnya? Tentu saja tidak! Sebab ada yang hidungnya mungil tapi menenteramkan. Ada yang sorot matanya tajam menghunjam, tapi menyejukkan. Ada yang kulitnya hitam, tapi penuh wibawa.
Pernah suatu ketika berjumpa dengan seorang ulama dari Afrika di Masjidil Haram, subhanallaah, walaupun kulitnya tidak putih, tidak kuning, tetapi ketika memandang wajahnya... sejuk sekali! Senyumnya begitu tulus meresap ke relung qolbu yang paling dalam. Sungguh bagai disiram air sejuk menyegarkan di pagi hari. Ada pula seorang ulama yang tubuhnya mungil, dan diberi karunia kelumpuhan sejak kecil. Namanya Syekh Ahmad Yassin, pemimpin spiritual gerakan Intifadah, Palestina. Ia tidak punya daya, duduknya saja di atas kursi roda. Hanya kepalanya saja yang bergerak. Tapi, saat menatap wajahnya, terpancar kesejukan yang luar biasa. Padahal, beliau jauh dari ketampanan wajah sebagaimana yang dianggap rupawan dalam versi manusia. Tapi, ternyata dibalik kelumpuhannya itu beliau memendam ketenteraman batin yang begitu dahsyat, tergambar saat kita memandang sejuknya pancaran rona wajahnya.
Nah, saudaraku, kalau hari ini kita berhasil menemukan struktur wajah seseorang yang menenteramkan, maka caru tahulah kenapa dia sampai memiliki wajah yang menenteramkan seperti itu. Tentulah, benar-benar kita akan menaruh hormat. Betapa senyumannya yang tulus; pancaran wajahnya, nampak ingin sekali ia membahagiakan siapapun yang menatapnya. Dan sebaliknya, bagaimana kalau kita menatap wajah lain dengan sifat yang berlawanan; (maaf, bukan bermaksud meremehkan) ada pula yang wajahnya bengis, struktur katanya ketus, sorot matanya kejam, senyumannya sinis, dan sikapnya pun tidak ramah. Begitulah, wajah-wajah dari saudara-saudara kita yang lain, yang belum mendapat ilmu; bengis dan ketus. Dan ini pun perlu kita pelajari.
Ambillah kelebihan dari wajah yang menenteramkan, yang menyejukkan tadi menjadi bagian dari wajah kita, dan buang jauh-jauh raut wajah yang tidak ramah, tidak menenteramkan, dan yang tidak menyejukkan.
Tidak ada salahnya jika kita evalusi diri di depan cermin. Tanyalah; raut seperti apakah yang ada di wajah kita ini? Memang ada diantara hamba-hamba Allah yang bibirnya di desain agak berat ke bawah. Kadang-kadang menyangkanya dia kurang senyum, sinis, atau kurang ramah. Subhanallaah, bentuk seperti ini pun karunia Allah yang patut disyukuri dan bisa jadi ladang amal bagi siapapun yang memilikinya untuk berusaha senyum ramah lebih maksimal lagi.
Sedangkan bagi wajah yang untuk seulas senyum itu sudah ada, maka tinggal meningkatkan lagi kualitas senyum tersebut, yaitu untuk lebih ikhlas lagi. Karena senyum di wajah, bukan hanya persoalan menyangkut ujung bibir saja, tapi yang utama adalah, ingin tidak kita membahagiakan orang lain? Ingin tidak kita membuat di sekitar kita tercahayai? Nabi Muhammad SAW, memberikan perhatian yang luar biasa kepada setiap orang yang bertemu dengan beliau sehingga orang itu merasa puas. Kenapa puas? Diriwayatkan bahwa Nabi Muhammad SAW – bila ada orang yang menyapanya – menganggap orang tersebut adalah orang yang paling utama di hadapan beliau. Sesuai kadar kemampuannya.
Walhasil, ketika Nabi SAW berbincang dengan siapapun, maka orang yang diajak berbincang ini senantiasa menjadi curahan perhatian. Tak heran bila cara memandang, cara bersikap, ternyata menjadi atribut kemuliaan yang beliau contohkan. Dan itu ternyata berpengaruh besar terhadap sikap dan perasaan orang yang diajak bicara.
Adapun kemuramdurjaan, ketidakenakkan, kegelisahan itu muncul ternyata diantara akibta kita belum menganggap orang yang ada dihadapan kita orang yang paling utama. Makanya, terkadang kita melihat seseorang itu hanya separuh mata, berbicara hanya separuh perhatian. Misalnya, ketika ada seseorang yang datang menghampiri, kita sapa orang itu sambil baca koran. Padahal, kalau kita sudah tidak mengutamakan orang lain, maka curahan kata-kata, cara memandang, cara bersikap, itu tidak akan punya daya sentuh. Tidak punya daya pancar yang kuat.
Orang karena itu, marilah kita berlatih diri meneliti wajah, tentu saja bukan maksud untuk meremehkan. Tapi, mengambil tauladan wajah yang baik, menghindari yang tidak baiknya, dan cari kuncinya kenapa sampai seperti itu? Lalu praktekkan dalam perilaku kita sehari-hari. Selain itu belajarlah untuk mengutamakan orang lain!
Mudah-mudahan kita dapat mengutamakan orang lain di hadapan kita, walaupun hanya beberapa menit, walaupun hanya beberapa detik, subhanallaah.*** (Manajemen Qolbu - Aa Gym)
SELAMAT JALAN AYAHANDA TERCINTA
Di penghujung Oktober 2005, tak seperti biasanya sms masuk silih berganti ke ponsel saya, mengucapkan berbagai macam doa melengkapi ucapan belasungkawa atas wafatnya ayahanda tercinta. Inbox Email pun tak seberapa jauh dengan ponsel saya, juga dipenuhi kabar serupa.
Siapa, yang tidak sedih menerima cobaan semacam ini? Tak berbeda dengan saya, kesedihan tentu saja hinggap, dan terkadang terbersit rasa penyesalan yg dalam kenapa ini mesti terjadi. Mungkin atau pasti ini akan terjadi kepada siapa saja, termasuk kita sendiri. Hari itu, agak berbeda dari hari-hari sebelumnya.
Dulu, saya pernah berpikir, ayah saya akan selalu mendampingi hidup saya selamanya. Kalaupun harus dipanggil oleh Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa, tapi tidak saat itu. Memang benar, tidak akan ada waktu yang terulang. Sekarang beliau telah tiada, dan tak ada satupun kekuatan atau mukjijat yg dapat mengulang waktu. Dan, hari ini tidak sama dengan hari2 yg lalu, sebelum Okt 25, 2005. Segala bentuk cobaan, penderitaan atau rasa suka cita lebih berarti menjalaninya bersama beliau. Sekarang, hanya ada hikmah yg tertinggal, bahwa kita, cepat atau lambat kita akan memenuhi Panggilan-Nya. Mungkin satu jam nanti, besok, bulan depan, atau entah kapan. Yang pasti, kita akan kembali.
Malam tadi..., ada yang saya renungkan lebih jauh. Betapa bahagianya saya, kerena ternyata saya tidak sendiri. Ada banyak teman, sahabat, kerabat yang masih mendampingi sisa-sisa hidup kita ini. Masih terbayang dalam ingatan, selain saudara2, sahabat, kerabat dan para tetangga rumah, ada banyak teman2 dari Sumitomo yg menghadiri acara pemakaman, dan ada kiriman bunga ucapan duka cita dari pt. Sumitomo
Maka, dengan ini saya, atas nama keluarga almarhum ingin mengucapkan terima kasih yg sedalam-dalamnya atas segala dukungan, kebersamaan, dan semangat kepada saya atau keluarga kami atas meninggalnya Ayahanda kami tercinta. Semoga Tuhan YMK tidak lupa membalas segala kebaikan atau amal yang telah kita perbuat. Amin.
Profileku yang lucu
Ini photoku ketika aku sedang piknik ke daerah Puncak kab.
RESEP PANJANG UMUR
1. BEKAS BOTOL AQUA
Mungkin sebagian dari kita mempunyai kebiasaan memakai dan memakai ulang botol plastik (Aqua, VIT, etc) dan menaruhnya di mobil atau di kantor. Kebiasaan ini tidak baik, karena bahan plastic botol (disebut juga sebagai polyethylene terephthalate or PET) yang dipakai di botol2 ini mengandung zat2 karsinogen (atau DEHA). Botol ini aman untuk dipakai 1-2 kali saja, jika anda ingin memakainya lebih lama, tidak boleh lebih dari seminggu, dan harus ditaruh di tempat yang jauh dari matahari. Kebiasaan mencuci ulang dapat membuat lapisan plastik rusak dan zat karsinogen itu bisa masuk ke air yang kita minum. Lebih baik membeli botol air yang memang untuk dipakai ber-ulang2, jangan memakai botol plastik.
2. PENGGEMAR SATE
Kalau Anda makan sate, jangan lupa makan timun setelahnya. Karena ketika kita makan sate sebetulnya ikut juga karbon dari hasil pembakaran arang yang dapat menyebabkan kanker. Untuk itu kita punya obatnya yaitu timun yang disarankan untuk dimakan setelah makan sate. Karena sate mempunyai zat Karsinogen (penyebab kanker) tetapi timun ternyata punya anti Karsinogen. Jadi jangan lupa makan timun setelah makan sate.
3. UDANG DAN VITAMIN C
Jangan makan udang setelah Anda makan Vitamin C. Karena ini akan menyebabkan keracunan dari racun Arsenik (As) yang merupakan proses reaksi dari Udang dan Vitamin C di dalam tubuh dan berakibat keracunan yang fatal dalam hitungan jam.
4. MIE INSTAN
Untuk para penggemar mi instan, pastikan Anda punya selang waktu paling tidak 3 (tiga) hari setelah Anda mengkonsumsi mi instan, jika Anda akan mengkonsumsinya lagi, dari informasi kedokteran, ternyata terdapat lilin yang melapisi mi instan. Itu sebabnya mengapa mi instan tidak lengket satu sama lainnya ketika dimasak. Konsumsi mie instan setiap hari akan meningkatkan kemungkinan seseorang terjangkiti kanker. Seseorang, karena begitu sibuknya dalam berkarir tidak punya waktu lagi untuk memasak, sehingga diputuskannya untuk mengkonsumsi mi instan setiap hari. Akhirnya dia menderita kanker. Dokternya mengatakan bahwa hal ini disebabkan karena adanya lilin dalam mi instan tersebut. Dokter tersebut mengatakan bahwa tubuh kita memerlukan waktu lebih dari 2 (dua) hari untuk membersihkan lilin tersebut.
5. BAHAYA DIBALIK KEMASAN MAKANAN
Kemasan makanan merupakan bagian dari makanan yang sehari-hari kita konsumsi. Bagi sebagian besar orang, kemasan makanan hanya sekadar bungkus makanan dan cenderung dianggap sebagai "pelindung" makanan. Sebetulnya tidak tepat begitu, tergantung jenis bahan kemasan. Sebaiknya mulai sekarang Anda cermat memilih kemasan makanan. Kemasan pada makanan mempunyai fungsi kesehatan, pengawetan, kemudahan, penyeragaman, promosi, dan informasi. Ada begitu banyak bahan yang digunakan sebagai pengemas primer pada makanan, yaitu kemasan yang bersentuhan langsung dengan makanan. Tetapi tidak semua bahan ini aman bagi makanan yang dikemasnya. Inilah ranking teratas bahan kemasan makanan yang perlu Anda waspadai.
A. Kertas
Beberapa kertas kemasan dan non-kemasan (kertas koran dan majalah) yang sering digunakan untuk membungkus makanan, terdeteksi mengandung timbal (Pb) melebihi batas yang ditentukan. Di dalam tubuh manusia, timbal masuk melalui saluran pernapasan atau pencernaan menuju sistem peredaran darah dan kemudian menyebar ke berbagai jaringan lain, seperti: ginjal, hati, otak, saraf dan tulang. Keracunan timbal pada orang dewasa ditandai dengan gejala 3 P, yaitu pallor (pucat), pain (sakit) & paralysis (kelumpuhan). Keracunan yang terjadipun bisa bersifat kronis dan akut. Untuk terhindar dari makanan yang terkontaminasi logam berat timbal, memang susah-susah gampang. Banyak makanan jajanan seperti pisang goreng, tahu goreng dan tempe goreng yang dibungkus dengan koran karena pengetahuan yang kurang dari si penjual, padahal bahan yang panas dan berlemak mempermudah berpindahnya timbal makanan tsb. Sebagai usaha pencegahan, taruhlah makanan jajanan tersebut di atas piring.
B. Styrofoam
Bahan pengemas styrofoam atau polystyrene telah menjadi salah satu pilihan yang paling populer dalam bisnis pangan. Tetapi, riset terkini membuktikan bahwa styrofoam diragukan keamanannya. Styrofoam yang dibuat dari kopolimer styren ini menjadi pilihan bisnis pangan karena mampu mencegah kebocoran dan tetap mempertahankan bentuknya saat dipegang. Selain itu, bahan tersebut juga mampu mempertahankan panas dan dingin tetapi tetap nyaman dipegang, mempertahankan kesegaran dan keutuhan bahan yang dikemas, biaya murah, lebih aman, serta ringan. Pada Juli 2001, Divisi Keamanan Pangan Pemerintah Jepang mengungkapkan bahwa residu styrofoam dalam makanan sangat berbahaya. Residu itu dapat menyebabkan endocrine disrupter (EDC), yaitu suatu penyakit yang terjadi akibat adanya gangguan pada sistem endokrinologi dan reproduksi manusia akibat bahan kimia karsinogen dalam makanan.
Mungkin sebagian dari kita mempunyai kebiasaan memakai dan memakai ulang botol plastik (Aqua, VIT, etc) dan menaruhnya di mobil atau di kantor. Kebiasaan ini tidak baik, karena bahan plastic botol (disebut juga sebagai polyethylene terephthalate or PET) yang dipakai di botol2 ini mengandung zat2 karsinogen (atau DEHA). Botol ini aman untuk dipakai 1-2 kali saja, jika anda ingin memakainya lebih lama, tidak boleh lebih dari seminggu, dan harus ditaruh di tempat yang jauh dari matahari. Kebiasaan mencuci ulang dapat membuat lapisan plastik rusak dan zat karsinogen itu bisa masuk ke air yang kita minum. Lebih baik membeli botol air yang memang untuk dipakai ber-ulang2, jangan memakai botol plastik.
2. PENGGEMAR SATE
Kalau Anda makan sate, jangan lupa makan timun setelahnya. Karena ketika kita makan sate sebetulnya ikut juga karbon dari hasil pembakaran arang yang dapat menyebabkan kanker. Untuk itu kita punya obatnya yaitu timun yang disarankan untuk dimakan setelah makan sate. Karena sate mempunyai zat Karsinogen (penyebab kanker) tetapi timun ternyata punya anti Karsinogen. Jadi jangan lupa makan timun setelah makan sate.
3. UDANG DAN VITAMIN C
Jangan makan udang setelah Anda makan Vitamin C. Karena ini akan menyebabkan keracunan dari racun Arsenik (As) yang merupakan proses reaksi dari Udang dan Vitamin C di dalam tubuh dan berakibat keracunan yang fatal dalam hitungan jam.
4. MIE INSTAN
Untuk para penggemar mi instan, pastikan Anda punya selang waktu paling tidak 3 (tiga) hari setelah Anda mengkonsumsi mi instan, jika Anda akan mengkonsumsinya lagi, dari informasi kedokteran, ternyata terdapat lilin yang melapisi mi instan. Itu sebabnya mengapa mi instan tidak lengket satu sama lainnya ketika dimasak. Konsumsi mie instan setiap hari akan meningkatkan kemungkinan seseorang terjangkiti kanker. Seseorang, karena begitu sibuknya dalam berkarir tidak punya waktu lagi untuk memasak, sehingga diputuskannya untuk mengkonsumsi mi instan setiap hari. Akhirnya dia menderita kanker. Dokternya mengatakan bahwa hal ini disebabkan karena adanya lilin dalam mi instan tersebut. Dokter tersebut mengatakan bahwa tubuh kita memerlukan waktu lebih dari 2 (dua) hari untuk membersihkan lilin tersebut.
5. BAHAYA DIBALIK KEMASAN MAKANAN
Kemasan makanan merupakan bagian dari makanan yang sehari-hari kita konsumsi. Bagi sebagian besar orang, kemasan makanan hanya sekadar bungkus makanan dan cenderung dianggap sebagai "pelindung" makanan. Sebetulnya tidak tepat begitu, tergantung jenis bahan kemasan. Sebaiknya mulai sekarang Anda cermat memilih kemasan makanan. Kemasan pada makanan mempunyai fungsi kesehatan, pengawetan, kemudahan, penyeragaman, promosi, dan informasi. Ada begitu banyak bahan yang digunakan sebagai pengemas primer pada makanan, yaitu kemasan yang bersentuhan langsung dengan makanan. Tetapi tidak semua bahan ini aman bagi makanan yang dikemasnya. Inilah ranking teratas bahan kemasan makanan yang perlu Anda waspadai.
A. Kertas
Beberapa kertas kemasan dan non-kemasan (kertas koran dan majalah) yang sering digunakan untuk membungkus makanan, terdeteksi mengandung timbal (Pb) melebihi batas yang ditentukan. Di dalam tubuh manusia, timbal masuk melalui saluran pernapasan atau pencernaan menuju sistem peredaran darah dan kemudian menyebar ke berbagai jaringan lain, seperti: ginjal, hati, otak, saraf dan tulang. Keracunan timbal pada orang dewasa ditandai dengan gejala 3 P, yaitu pallor (pucat), pain (sakit) & paralysis (kelumpuhan). Keracunan yang terjadipun bisa bersifat kronis dan akut. Untuk terhindar dari makanan yang terkontaminasi logam berat timbal, memang susah-susah gampang. Banyak makanan jajanan seperti pisang goreng, tahu goreng dan tempe goreng yang dibungkus dengan koran karena pengetahuan yang kurang dari si penjual, padahal bahan yang panas dan berlemak mempermudah berpindahnya timbal makanan tsb. Sebagai usaha pencegahan, taruhlah makanan jajanan tersebut di atas piring.
B. Styrofoam
Bahan pengemas styrofoam atau polystyrene telah menjadi salah satu pilihan yang paling populer dalam bisnis pangan. Tetapi, riset terkini membuktikan bahwa styrofoam diragukan keamanannya. Styrofoam yang dibuat dari kopolimer styren ini menjadi pilihan bisnis pangan karena mampu mencegah kebocoran dan tetap mempertahankan bentuknya saat dipegang. Selain itu, bahan tersebut juga mampu mempertahankan panas dan dingin tetapi tetap nyaman dipegang, mempertahankan kesegaran dan keutuhan bahan yang dikemas, biaya murah, lebih aman, serta ringan. Pada Juli 2001, Divisi Keamanan Pangan Pemerintah Jepang mengungkapkan bahwa residu styrofoam dalam makanan sangat berbahaya. Residu itu dapat menyebabkan endocrine disrupter (EDC), yaitu suatu penyakit yang terjadi akibat adanya gangguan pada sistem endokrinologi dan reproduksi manusia akibat bahan kimia karsinogen dalam makanan.
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